Comments on: Overspending for the Kids http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/ A premiere personal finance blog, established 2003. Within, Flexo discusses his own experiences with money, and he and other authors comment on a wide range of personal finance topics. Fri, 06 Nov 2009 05:34:21 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.5 hourly 1 By: Four Pillars http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-136242 Four Pillars Fri, 08 Feb 2008 03:25:35 +0000 http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-136242 I just stumbled across this article - quite excellent. Today's parents do not say 'no' enough - I mean spending is all relative, for some families the expenses you mentioned would be cheap. Since their debts are rising they need to cut back and they can start with the kids. Mike I just stumbled across this article – quite excellent.

Today’s parents do not say ‘no’ enough – I mean spending is all relative, for some families the expenses you mentioned would be cheap. Since their debts are rising they need to cut back and they can start with the kids.

Mike

]]> By: mbhunter http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-129904 mbhunter Wed, 26 Dec 2007 07:55:17 +0000 http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-129904 At a Christmas gathering earlier this evening, we were talking about parents who throw up their hands while they say "My child won't do X." This begs the question, "Who's in charge here?" As the father of an (almost) three year old it breaks my heart to be a disciplinarian or to say "no" but without doing this I'm setting up myself, my wife, and her for a lot of trouble. Looks like the kids are in charge in this family, and that's just not the way it's supposed to be. The kids are not driving them broke. They're letting the kids run their financial lives into the ground. At a Christmas gathering earlier this evening, we were talking about parents who throw up their hands while they say “My child won’t do X.” This begs the question, “Who’s in charge here?”

As the father of an (almost) three year old it breaks my heart to be a disciplinarian or to say “no” but without doing this I’m setting up myself, my wife, and her for a lot of trouble.

Looks like the kids are in charge in this family, and that’s just not the way it’s supposed to be. The kids are not driving them broke. They’re letting the kids run their financial lives into the ground.

]]> By: Tom http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128868 Tom Wed, 19 Dec 2007 17:24:21 +0000 http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128868 I agree with what a few people already stated. Don't skimp on things like Braces and preschool. For someone who is happy and smiles a lot, braces are a must, plus you can't knock a good first impression. And second, an allowance is a great idea. If they want to blow their money on a $300 phone, they shouldn't expect video games or a new one if it breaks. Tough love and responsibility for the young'ns. I agree with what a few people already stated. Don’t skimp on things like Braces and preschool. For someone who is happy and smiles a lot, braces are a must, plus you can’t knock a good first impression.

And second, an allowance is a great idea. If they want to blow their money on a $300 phone, they shouldn’t expect video games or a new one if it breaks. Tough love and responsibility for the young’ns.

]]> By: Daisy http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128869 Daisy Wed, 19 Dec 2007 17:24:19 +0000 http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128869 I agree with having to say no. Kids often can't tell the difference between a want and a need. Actually, some adults can't either. ;) Seriously though, my parents had the money to spend but they never gave me all that stuff. They figured I could still be happy (maybe even happier) without them. And they were right. :) I agree with having to say no. Kids often can’t tell the difference between a want and a need. Actually, some adults can’t either. ;)

Seriously though, my parents had the money to spend but they never gave me all that stuff. They figured I could still be happy (maybe even happier) without them. And they were right. :)

]]> By: Rev http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128625 Rev Mon, 17 Dec 2007 21:38:44 +0000 http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128625 For a family without lots of money Skiing/Snowboarding is a terrible thing to pick up. I missed out on it as a kid because my parents couldn't afford it but I turned out fine. Not only is the equipment expensive but so are the trips, tickets, food. Instead I got a really nice skateboard and free use of asphalt. While skiing is cool it is also expensive there are many other activities that are cheaper in which the kid can still feel "cool". For a family without lots of money Skiing/Snowboarding is a terrible thing to pick up. I missed out on it as a kid because my parents couldn’t afford it but I turned out fine. Not only is the equipment expensive but so are the trips, tickets, food. Instead I got a really nice skateboard and free use of asphalt.

While skiing is cool it is also expensive there are many other activities that are cheaper in which the kid can still feel “cool”.

]]> By: Dolores http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128426 Dolores Mon, 17 Dec 2007 00:14:26 +0000 http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128426 The only thing I think is ridiculous in this article is that one child prefers AE clothes over Target. I mean, I understand wanting something considered cool and whatnot, but Target carries the same line of clothing for considerably less. The only thing I think is ridiculous in this article is that one child prefers AE clothes over Target. I mean, I understand wanting something considered cool and whatnot, but Target carries the same line of clothing for considerably less.

]]> By: vh http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128266 vh Sun, 16 Dec 2007 03:38:36 +0000 http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128266 Having been in the position of parents whose kids run with an expensive crowd, I might offer the following: * If you can't afford expensive clothes and ridiculously pricey hobbies for the little ones, don't send them to private school. Send them to a public school where some of the other kids have to scrape by without $300 cell phones and ski lessons. If you keep your kid in a school where you can't afford to keep up with the other parents, your kid will feel like a country bumpkin and end up with a crippling sense of inferiority. I speak from experience. * Look in to local urban summer camps run by the Y or by your local Jewish community center. You don't have to be Christian to send your kid to a YWCA or YMCA program, and you don't have to be Jewish to send your kid to a JCC program. In our neck of the woods, JCC has one of the best day summer camps going. And you can bet it won't run you $60 per kid per day. * Stand in front of the mirror and try to shape your mouth to make these sounds: nnnnn ooooo. After you've perfected each of these, put them together and practice: no no no no no no no.... * Cross-country skiing can be as much fun as downhill skiing. It's one heckuva lot cheaper and you can do it in lots more places. * Snowboarding is also cheaper than downhill skiing, and just as much fun. * Give each kid an allowance instead of every darn thing she or he asks for. You'll be amazed at how much a highly motivated child can save. They can be quite the tightwads! * My mother used to say that most divorces result from money problems, even among the wealthy. She was right. If you have more money than you have good sense, please accept this bit of intelligence gratis. Having been in the position of parents whose kids run with an expensive crowd, I might offer the following:

* If you can’t afford expensive clothes and ridiculously pricey hobbies for the little ones, don’t send them to private school. Send them to a public school where some of the other kids have to scrape by without $300 cell phones and ski lessons. If you keep your kid in a school where you can’t afford to keep up with the other parents, your kid will feel like a country bumpkin and end up with a crippling sense of inferiority. I speak from experience.

* Look in to local urban summer camps run by the Y or by your local Jewish community center. You don’t have to be Christian to send your kid to a YWCA or YMCA program, and you don’t have to be Jewish to send your kid to a JCC program. In our neck of the woods, JCC has one of the best day summer camps going. And you can bet it won’t run you $60 per kid per day.

* Stand in front of the mirror and try to shape your mouth to make these sounds: nnnnn ooooo. After you’ve perfected each of these, put them together and practice: no no no no no no no….

* Cross-country skiing can be as much fun as downhill skiing. It’s one heckuva lot cheaper and you can do it in lots more places.

* Snowboarding is also cheaper than downhill skiing, and just as much fun.

* Give each kid an allowance instead of every darn thing she or he asks for. You’ll be amazed at how much a highly motivated child can save. They can be quite the tightwads!

* My mother used to say that most divorces result from money problems, even among the wealthy. She was right. If you have more money than you have good sense, please accept this bit of intelligence gratis.

]]> By: Maureen http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128233 Maureen Sat, 15 Dec 2007 23:00:00 +0000 http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128233 Back @ Toby~ With my apologies...I did not see the FULL article on CNN website, I just the shorted version on this page. I have to admit..I have a sore spot for stay at home moms when the family can't afford it. Either cut the spending or get a job to make ends meet. I know alot of stay at home moms that complain, then balk at me because we are taking a second vacation of the year or buying something fun for the backyard. What's ironic is, I never complain about my kids, yet they constantly do! I guess because they spend so much time with them. So, apologies for not reading the "extended" version of the article. Now that I have, I'm mad about something else entirely! ;^) Back @ Toby~
With my apologies…I did not see the FULL article on CNN website, I just the shorted version on this page. I have to admit..I have a sore spot for stay at home moms when the family can’t afford it. Either cut the spending or get a job to make ends meet. I know alot of stay at home moms that complain, then balk at me because we are taking a second vacation of the year or buying something fun for the backyard. What’s ironic is, I never complain about my kids, yet they constantly do! I guess because they spend so much time with them.
So, apologies for not reading the “extended” version of the article. Now that I have, I’m mad about something else entirely! ;^)

]]> By: Toby http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128224 Toby Sat, 15 Dec 2007 22:08:44 +0000 http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128224 @Maureen: It helps if you read the article before making negative judgments about the author. Couple things you would know if you read the article: 1) The family is single income. Kerri "where is the money going?" Miller is a stay-at-home mom. 2) If your expenses exceed your income every month (as theirs do), it means they are not making good financial decisions. So when your net worth graph is trending downwards a $300 cell phone and a few American Eagle shirts certainly can "break the bank". I shudder to think how their lives might unravel if Mike loses his 6-figure job with no savings and lots of debt. The point of the article is not that you shouldn't spend on the kids, it that you shouldn't mortgage your future (and theirs) to buy them anything they want. Again, if you'd bothered to read the article you may have noticed that all their materialism comes at the cost no emergency fund, no college savings, and a growing HELOC balance. @Maureen: It helps if you read the article before making negative judgments about the author.

Couple things you would know if you read the article:

1) The family is single income. Kerri “where is the money going?” Miller is a stay-at-home mom.

2) If your expenses exceed your income every month (as theirs do), it means they are not making good financial decisions. So when your net worth graph is trending downwards a $300 cell phone and a few American Eagle shirts certainly can “break the bank”.

I shudder to think how their lives might unravel if Mike loses his 6-figure job with no savings and lots of debt.

The point of the article is not that you shouldn’t spend on the kids, it that you shouldn’t mortgage your future (and theirs) to buy them anything they want. Again, if you’d bothered to read the article you may have noticed that all their materialism comes at the cost no emergency fund, no college savings, and a growing HELOC balance.

]]> By: Maureen http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128215 Maureen Sat, 15 Dec 2007 20:15:52 +0000 http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128215 The only thing I can't see is a $300 phone bill. We spend on our kids...why not? We don't go without because of it. Ski lessons? Get them while your young, avoid the fear of learning as an adult...skiing is not a cheap sport! Video games? At least get them used, they look the same on tv. Braces? You're crazy if you don't. Why would we let our kids go thru the embarassment of crooked teeth. Summer camp? Have you checked out daycare...not too much less...let the kids learn something at camp vs sitting in a cramped up facility with 50 other kids! As far as the American Eagle...a couple of name brand articles of clothing isn't going to break the bank....we have 2 girls so we figure "2 fer one" when it comes to money spent on clothes! And last but not least babysitting and preschool...if both parents work, what do you suggest? Leaving them alone! Sounds to us like the person that wrote the article doesn't have kids...get with the times my friend...it's a material world because most families are two income. We had a one income family growing up...most people did. And with all of this material we still have quality family time(movie night, yearly vacations, game night, extended family gatherings, dinners AT the dinner table) Before you know it, they are grown & out of the house and we'll be daydreaming about these younger years, just like my parents do now! We spend what we can afford, if we want to do it on our kids and not on us, that's OUR choice! The only thing I can’t see is a $300 phone bill. We spend on our kids…why not? We don’t go without because of it. Ski lessons? Get them while your young, avoid the fear of learning as an adult…skiing is not a cheap sport! Video games? At least get them used, they look the same on tv. Braces? You’re crazy if you don’t. Why would we let our kids go thru the embarassment of crooked teeth. Summer camp? Have you checked out daycare…not too much less…let the kids learn something at camp vs sitting in a cramped up facility with 50 other kids! As far as the American Eagle…a couple of name brand articles of clothing isn’t going to break the bank….we have 2 girls so we figure “2 fer one” when it comes to money spent on clothes! And last but not least babysitting and preschool…if both parents work, what do you suggest? Leaving them alone! Sounds to us like the person that wrote the article doesn’t have kids…get with the times my friend…it’s a material world because most families are two income. We had a one income family growing up…most people did. And with all of this material we still have quality family time(movie night, yearly vacations, game night, extended family gatherings, dinners AT the dinner table) Before you know it, they are grown & out of the house and we’ll be daydreaming about these younger years, just like my parents do now! We spend what we can afford, if we want to do it on our kids and not on us, that’s OUR choice!

]]> By: hank http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128201 hank Sat, 15 Dec 2007 17:42:02 +0000 http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128201 I think the extent of my luxuries as a child was to get metal forks instead of plastic "sporks" at dinner time - Definitely agree that "No" needs to be used far more liberal in that house... :) I think the extent of my luxuries as a child was to get metal forks instead of plastic “sporks” at dinner time – Definitely agree that “No” needs to be used far more liberal in that house… :)

]]> By: Lynnae @ beingfrugal.net http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128197 Lynnae @ beingfrugal.net Sat, 15 Dec 2007 16:54:12 +0000 http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128197 This is so sad. These parents are setting up their children to fail by not saying no to them. What's going to happen when the kids go off to college, get their first entry level job, and can't afford the expensive clothes? They'll probably end up in credit card debt. And even worse, what's going to happen when little Katie gets married and expects her husband to provide all of these things? The poor guy is going to have some high expectations to live up to. This is so sad. These parents are setting up their children to fail by not saying no to them.

What’s going to happen when the kids go off to college, get their first entry level job, and can’t afford the expensive clothes? They’ll probably end up in credit card debt.

And even worse, what’s going to happen when little Katie gets married and expects her husband to provide all of these things? The poor guy is going to have some high expectations to live up to.

]]> By: fathersez http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128154 fathersez Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:11:09 +0000 http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128154 This is a great example of the quicksand parents have to walk. Some parents take the easy way out and just give the kids what they want. And more likely than not, the kids do not know what they really want. Some of this could be just trying to keep up with the Joneses. I agree with one part of Toby's suggestion. Maybe a little extreme, but should be effective. Someone should slap them in the head, till they come around. They seem to be living their lives like spending zombies. This is a great example of the quicksand parents have to walk.

Some parents take the easy way out and just give the kids what they want. And more likely than not, the kids do not know what they really want.

Some of this could be just trying to keep up with the Joneses.

I agree with one part of Toby’s suggestion. Maybe a little extreme, but should be effective. Someone should slap them in the head, till they come around. They seem to be living their lives like spending zombies.

]]> By: Flexo http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128091 Flexo Sat, 15 Dec 2007 04:34:44 +0000 http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128091 Brianne: I don't think anyone's saying dental work and early education/socialization are wastes of money. As the article explains, there are ways to <i>save</i> money on necessary expenses rather than spending more than you can afford. Negotiation and bargain hunting can be worthwhile in these cases. Brianne: I don’t think anyone’s saying dental work and early education/socialization are wastes of money. As the article explains, there are ways to save money on necessary expenses rather than spending more than you can afford. Negotiation and bargain hunting can be worthwhile in these cases.

]]> By: Brianne http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128088 Brianne Sat, 15 Dec 2007 04:25:29 +0000 http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128088 Some of it is extravagant, but braces and preschool? So dental expenses and education are a waste of money? Some of it is extravagant, but braces and preschool? So dental expenses and education are a waste of money?

]]> By: Toby http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128036 Toby Fri, 14 Dec 2007 22:19:06 +0000 http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128036 From the article: "I look at how much money we spend and I think, 'Where is it going?'"... ...says the ditsy, blonde, SAHM. They live on a 6-figure salary!!! Are you kidding me? What a joke! People like this make me sick. What's next? Is their ARM gonna reset so our tax dollars can bail them out?! Now I understand that this country's prosperity is based on rampant consumption by the masses and I realize that these people are (sadly) typical consumers in this day and age. But someone needs to slap them in the head! Their kids are not the problem here. Mommy and daddy need to learn some basic finance. Income must be *greater* than expenses. If not, you're doing something wrong. It's so sad because they are in the top 10% of households as far as income and they still can't hack it. There is almost no excuse for not making ends meet in their situation, they're simply making poor financial decisions. Sorry about the rant. It's been a long, frustrating day... From the article: “I look at how much money we spend and I think, ‘Where is it going?’”…

…says the ditsy, blonde, SAHM. They live on a 6-figure salary!!! Are you kidding me? What a joke! People like this make me sick.

What’s next? Is their ARM gonna reset so our tax dollars can bail them out?!

Now I understand that this country’s prosperity is based on rampant consumption by the masses and I realize that these people are (sadly) typical consumers in this day and age. But someone needs to slap them in the head!

Their kids are not the problem here. Mommy and daddy need to learn some basic finance. Income must be *greater* than expenses. If not, you’re doing something wrong.

It’s so sad because they are in the top 10% of households as far as income and they still can’t hack it. There is almost no excuse for not making ends meet in their situation, they’re simply making poor financial decisions.

Sorry about the rant. It’s been a long, frustrating day…

]]> By: Mrs. Micah http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128033 Mrs. Micah Fri, 14 Dec 2007 22:04:00 +0000 http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128033 I'm with Plonkee---I must have had a hard childhood. If people have the money, I can see why they'd want their kids to have what they want. But if they don't...then kids can survive just fine without it. I’m with Plonkee—I must have had a hard childhood. If people have the money, I can see why they’d want their kids to have what they want. But if they don’t…then kids can survive just fine without it.

]]> By: Aryn http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128024 Aryn Fri, 14 Dec 2007 21:12:38 +0000 http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128024 I agree with most of the above being optional, except for the braces. Good braces can be a necessity. My husband had braces as a child, but the doctor was cheap and not very good. Now he's had to get them again as an adult, and have painful orthodontic surgery, to correct serious periodontal disease and avoid losing his teeth. I agree with most of the above being optional, except for the braces. Good braces can be a necessity. My husband had braces as a child, but the doctor was cheap and not very good. Now he’s had to get them again as an adult, and have painful orthodontic surgery, to correct serious periodontal disease and avoid losing his teeth.

]]> By: sonia http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128021 sonia Fri, 14 Dec 2007 21:05:28 +0000 http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128021 Those summer camp costs ,save them for a family vacation, No boots higher than $50. Thrift store skis and backyard lessons. $100.each for xmas divided between clothes and toys, not all in toys. The game boy..one game a month. The b'day child goes to the zoo or public swimming pool with best friend.Parents remember you are the adults the choices are yours.. Those summer camp costs ,save them for a family vacation, No boots higher than $50.
Thrift store skis and backyard lessons. $100.each for xmas divided between clothes and toys, not all in toys. The game boy..one game a month. The b’day child goes to the zoo or public swimming pool with best friend.Parents remember you are the adults the choices are yours..

]]> By: plonkee http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128019 plonkee Fri, 14 Dec 2007 20:40:35 +0000 http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128019 I think I must have had a very hard upbringing. I can just imagine what my mother would have said to the idea of me having any of those items. Seriously, it's bad for kids to get what they want all the time, just as much as it's bad for them to not get what they need all the time. I think I must have had a very hard upbringing. I can just imagine what my mother would have said to the idea of me having any of those items.

Seriously, it’s bad for kids to get what they want all the time, just as much as it’s bad for them to not get what they need all the time.

]]> By: Llama Money http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128017 Llama Money Fri, 14 Dec 2007 20:33:09 +0000 http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/2007/12/14/overspending-for-the-kids/#comment-128017 I admit spending too much on my one child ( it's hard, no doubt about it. ). But $300 cell phone, $60 / day summer camp? You've got to be kidding. That's $180 PER DAY all summer long. Assuming 5 days per week and 8 weeks long, that's $7200 on summer camp - absurd. No reason they should be spending that much. These folks simply need to learn to say no - they're going broke and teaching their kids horrible habits. I admit spending too much on my one child ( it’s hard, no doubt about it. ). But $300 cell phone, $60 / day summer camp? You’ve got to be kidding. That’s $180 PER DAY all summer long. Assuming 5 days per week and 8 weeks long, that’s $7200 on summer camp – absurd. No reason they should be spending that much.

These folks simply need to learn to say no – they’re going broke and teaching their kids horrible habits.

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