Comments on: My Grandmothers and the Cost of a Funeral

By: Rick Rexor

Rick Rexor — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 18:02:00 +0000

Doing the funeral arrangements for my father was probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to get done. My father left with very little money and did not take the proper precautions before he pasted. As my wife and I started shopping around for funeral homes, I was shocked to find just how expensive that day would be. Luckily, I my brother heard about http://www.starlegacynetwork.com where I could get cheap caskets of similar quality, but not as overpriced as some of funeral home were charging. As hard as this day was, giving my dad the funeral he deserved was one of the proudest moments of my life.

By: frugalscholar

frugalscholar — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 21:06:18 +0000

My in-laws sent us a notice many years ago telling us they had prepaid for a cremation etc with a burial society–in their case, the Neptune Society. What a gift to their family. When my mil died at home several years ago, a call to the Society was all it took. This was also a low-cost option.

Because my great-grandfather bought into a butial place with many recent immigrants, i am entitled to a low-cost (or no-cost?) plot at the Montefiore Cemetery.

Jewish tradition also calls for simplicity at burials–a wonderful gift for all the survivors.

By: Flexo

Flexo — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 00:43:49 +0000

Thanks for your comments, everyone.

By: Bea K.

Bea K. — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 18:15:14 +0000

I’m also sorry to hear about your grandmother (Is it alright if I pray for you and your family any way?), but unfortunately in the black community very rarely are these ‘matters’ discussed (my mom is 79 and still refuses to talk about it, but I’m determined to set the wheels in motion right now). I’m 50 and starting my will and funeral arrangements ‘this week’ to get things in order, should ‘something’ drastic come about (or even if it doesn’t). Most of my generation (and my mom’s as well) would rather ‘put it off’ or act like it’s not going to happen (or think about it ‘later’, who says we’ll make it to 11:59?), but we all need a reality check when it comes to death (I’ve gotten to the point where I almost welcome it at certain times, and grow less and less afraid as the years advance. I look forward to being with God/Yeshua and seeing my loved ones who’ve gone on before me.).
This may sound stupid or even trite but I don’t know why we don’t start having a ‘serious’ talk about preparing for ‘death’ at an earlier time period, and perhaps people wouldn’t be so apprehensive about it (and would maybe even be willing to get things in order sooner). In the mean while, “thanks” for yet another wake-up call to “put my house in order”, while there is still yet time. Shalom! and God bless.

By: Cathy @ Chief Family Officer

Cathy @ Chief Family Officer — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 03:49:58 +0000

I’m so sorry for your loss, Flexo. My grandmother isn’t quite at hospice level yet, but she lives quite far away and her health has been declining steadily for several years. It’s always in the back of my mind, how I would make those last minute travel arrangements if that call comes. My thoughts & prayers are with you and your family.

By: ctreit

ctreit — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 17:53:22 +0000

Sorry to hear about your grandmother! I lost my “adopted” grandmother a few years ago, who was very good to me. She lived to 93 and was ready to join her husband who had died a few decades ago. It was such a privilege for me to have known her. I hope that your grandmother also looks back at a fulfilled life. All the best to you and the others left behind.

By: Greg

Greg — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 15:22:11 +0000

re SavingEverything: The funeral business is primary regulated by the states, so it is difficult to do a comparison across state lines.

Generally, there is the cost of the grave site, opening and closing (dig a hole and fill it in) costs, marker, and setting the marker (putting the marker in place). Usually a perpetual care cemetery has the care and maintenance built into the cost of the grave site.

Another consideration is a mausoleum. They are generally less expensive than a grave and do not have the same opening and closing costs. The marker is less expensive, usually engraving on a granite surface or a metal plaque. There are also mausoleum niches, where cremated remains can be place.

This is why it is so important to do your homework now, while time is on your side.

By: SavingEverything

SavingEverything — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 15:12:43 +0000

Besides funeral expenses, how much money should one expect to pay nowadays (late 2009) for the burial site and the memorial stone? Are there any other fees to pay, such as ground keepings, or is it included in the one lump-sum burial plot cost? In NY? In FL? In NJ? In AZ?

By: No Debt Plan

No Debt Plan — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 13:27:54 +0000

Sorry for your loss. Death is not an easy subject to endure, much less write about publicily.

By: Greg

Greg — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 12:51:20 +0000

re: Paul @ FiscalGeek: You are right, an account (or term policy) is the financially prudent thing to do. Based on my experience working in the funeral industry, most people do not have plans in place for funeral expenses; especially for passing away at a young age.

The single best advice I can give is to pre-plan (not necessarily pre-pay) your funeral service. The funeral home of your choice will be glad to sit down and work this out with you. This way the planning will be done without the emotional duress that comes with losing a loved one. Also, it prevents the survivors from fighting over “what Mother wanted.” Make sure the anticipated survivors (spouse, children) are aware of your desires.

Keep in mind that prices quoted and specific offering (e.g. casket models) may not be available at the time of need. Revisit the plan as often as you revisit your will.

A final note; service is important. Take time to find a funeral service provider that has a good reputation.

By: mbhunter

mbhunter — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 03:39:57 +0000

Thanks for sharing this post. Sorry for your family’s loss.

+1 for buying land now. As they say, they’re not making any more of it.

By: Paul @ FiscalGeek

Paul @ FiscalGeek — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 17:46:32 +0000

Sorry for your loss Flexo. My mother-in-law pre-purchased her funeral expenses through a shame like insurance plan. Over the course of her life she paid more than $4,000 that she didn’t have into that plan. She died young at the age of 51 and her total funeral costs were only $3000 because she had chosen cremation. So if she had paid until much later in life think of the cost. It sickens me to prey on people because “you wouldn’t want to burden your family”. Once I’m too old for my term life then I’ll fully fund my funeral expenses in a money market account. Again sorry for your loss, but very useful information.

By: Bible Money Matters

Bible Money Matters — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 17:35:46 +0000

Sorry to hear about your grandmother. I’ve lost 3 grandparents in recent years, and it’s always hard to say goodbye. Luckily my relatives had planned for the day, and most things were taken care of when the day came.

By: 2million

2million — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 17:03:24 +0000

Funeral expenses can be shocking – headstone; expenses for whatever gathering you have after the funeral; and as mentioned the plot itself are additional costs. I don’t think the time of grieving for a loved one is the right time to be making financial decisions for funeral arrangements. Emotions and finances sometims don’t mix well.