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This is a guest article by Jennifer Calonia, Junior Editor at GoBankingRates. In the article, the author encourages couples in failing relationships to break-up before holidays and their obligatory expenses are imminent.

While it may sound like the antithesis of romance, calling it quits with your other half before the Valentine’s Day can be advantageous to your heart and your checkbook. Gift-giving and travel (if your significant other is across country) on Valentine’s Day is poised to destroy the savings of those who are too apprehensive to raise the white flag of surrender when it comes to their dead-end relationship.

According to a 2010 report by graphic designers Lee Byron and David McCandless, more couples break up toward the end of the calendar year–peaking two weeks before Christmas and the month after Valentine’s Day.

Valentine's DayThe data were gathered by conducting a year-long search on Facebook statuses which included the words “break up” or “broken up.”

Many argue that data used by Byron and McCandless is drawn from a highly defined sample pool, noting that most Facebook users are younger in their years. Despite that limitation, this study raises significant questions for those in the midst of a turbulent or stagnant relationship.

Break up to save money on gifts and travel

As the saying goes, “breaking up is hard to do,” but it could be a wise financial decision to opt out of your relationship if it’s already hit a brick wall. Instead of waiting for the report’s break-up peak after Valentine’s Day, why not face reality before February lands on your doorstep?

Observances like Valentine’s Day are among the highest-rated gift-giving holidays among couples next to birthdays. According to the National Retail Federation, in 2011, the average expense on Valentine’s Day gifts to a significant other was $68.98 — a figure that is on the rise.

Further, all of the subsequent holidays in the year (i.e. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s and a sprinkled birthday) present an open door for extra out-of-pocket travel expenses when planning to attend your partner’s family gathering or scheming a romantic getaway.

At the risk of being denounced as cold-hearted or even cheap, severing strained relationships before Valentine’s Day is at minimum, a savvy move for your wallet.

Broken heart: better investment

Seeking out and fostering a relationship with a partner is at its root an effort in finding a spouse. Stringing your significant other along when you don’t see a future ahead is not only by many people’s standards cruel, it’s a fruitless investment. Whether you’re dealing with emotions or finances, keeping long-term goals in sight are an important aspect of achieving success and happiness, overall.

Struggling relationships may not see another opportunity to break up until March, and time is money. There is never a “good time” to break-up, so biding one’s time after the holiday season and into Valentine’s Day is not the most effective approach in the long haul.

Break up with civility before February 14 comes around and open yourself up to a well-rounded year of improvements in 2012.

Editor’s note: I can’t say I’m a fan of making relationship or romantic decisions with finances as a trigger. Personal finance experts tend to see the world in terms of money; if you’re a hammer, everything looks like a nail, or so the saying goes. Obviously finances must be a consideration in major decision-making, and ending a bad relationship earlier rather than later is a better choice than lingering. The worst case scenario is losing a quality relationship over the cost of a bouquet of flowers or a meaningful gift.

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This is a guest article by Ginger, owner and curator of Girls Just Wanna Have Funds. She works as a psychotherapist with clients with whom money is a frequent topic.

When people think about financial freedom, most tend to think of it as this abstract state of being since it’s something that has yet to be experienced. Often this tends to be the reason why people rarely understand what prevents them from getting to this place in their financial life.

This brings us to the question and discussion of your Achilles’ heel. What prevents you from achieving your financial goals?

Achilles' HeelI often ask friends when talking about money goals, “Do you know what stops you from getting there? Do you want it badly enough?” Sometimes we’re so mired in what makes us comfortable that we can’t see past what it would mean to be successful in this area.

Success doesn’t have to mean paying off all of your debt in one year. It can simply mean taking baby steps to reduce the amount of money you send eating out. Avoiding trips to Target. Reducing mindless shopping habits which only further the raging spending addiction preventing you from seeing into the financial promised land. Those are all my Achilles’ heels, by the way.

How to identify your Achilles’ heel

Where do you most regret the money you spend? My pastor often says a man’s heart is where he spends his money (Luke 12:34). This rings true for me. When reviewing monthly transactions, I often saw where my money was going, as painful as it was to look at plainly in front of me. I kept saying to my self, “I spent what?!” There was a time when visiting Amazon.com and Target meant spending loads of money that I had no business spending.

Other financial transgressions meant spending more than I care to share eating out for no other reason than not wanting to cook that evening or choosing to eat instead of addressing how I was really feeling about a situation that upset me. The question I’d often asking myself is, “How did this help me towards my goals?” It didn’t help, as I had nothing to show for it but an empty plate or an item that I’d soon forget about once it arrived on my doorstep.

One day it all clicked.

This has taken some time. I’ve been writing my blog about money for a few years now. I finally connected how destructive my spending habits were in relation to my stated financial goals. I was sabotaging myself without really understanding why.

This changed with a decision

The same pastor I mentioned above also speaks about how many of the changes we need to make in life start with a decision, one decision to change the behavior and continuing to make that decision to stick with it. This might not — and often doesn’t — feel good, but if we’re to get to where we need to be then yes, it’s necessary.

Divorce yourself from your emotions

The pastor then goes on to tell us about the need to divorce ourselves from our emotions. And again, this rang true for me because shopping was almost like an addiction. I wasn’t shopping for clothes but more so for little things I needed, but if you know Amazon.com, you know it racks up! If I felt the desire to go out and buy something, I did so with no real thought about the connection between the purchase and my goal. I just knew that by buying this this item, it filled some unmet need within me.

In psychology, we talk about food and substance abuse addictions in the same way. The same rings true here, when sabotaging success for a momentary feeling of pleasure or fulfillment that never lasts.

It’s taken me some time to just decide not to visit Amazon.com. That was a huge victory for me since it’s just so convenient. I work a considerable distance from my home so I don’t really have the time go into stores, plus I don’t like shopping on the ground. Amazon Prime makes this really easy for me. If I order by noon, I will usually get my purchase by the next day. The cost? $3.99, or free if I choose the two-day option. As you can see this can get out of hand if you’re not careful. Now I add things to my cart and they stay there for weeks before making the purchase. My rule is to wait at least two weeks after adding something to the cart, and if I forget about it, I don’t need it.

Target is another beast. I won’t speculate about product placement marketing tactics in the store, because whatever they do in there works! I go in, and it never fails that I come out with way more than I need. As a result, I just don’t go there unless I absolutely have to, and these days my trips there are few and far between.

Has it been hard? Yep! But am I getting closer to my goal? Yes, and that feels even better.

Taming your Achilles’ heel will take introspection and honesty while making some hard decisions about how to change your spending habits. Deciding to take this on will be difficult but the results are worth it in the end.

To recap:

  • Identify your “heart,” where you spend most of your money.
  • Decide to change your heart from reckless spending to whatever financial goal you have in mind.
  • Engage in serious introspection about why you spend the way you do. Are there other psychological needs that spending temporarily meets?
  • Divorce yourself from the emotions which enable you to rationalize and accept destructive spending habits.

What is your Achilles’ heel, and how do you plan to tame it? Or have you tamed it?

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Last week, a photograph by Andreas Gurksy, Rhein II, was sold at auction for $4,338,500 to an anonymous buyer. The record-breaking sale allowed Gursky to reclaim fame as the artist whose work has claimed the highest price paid for a photograph. This auction was a secondary market sale. As in most art auctions commanding high prices and press attention, the artist sees little if any financial benefit.

What do you think of the image? Is it art? Is it art you would consider to be worth $4 million? $1 million?

Rhein II

It wasn’t this lowly jpeg that was sold. Seeing the print — considered a very important part of the art of photography — is an experience in itself. To see this work in person, you would be gazing at a print eight feet by twelve feet. Even today’s relatively advanced digital cameras, devices used by professional wedding photographers and amateurs like me around the world, wouldn’t be able to produce a print that size with quality and resolution. This image was most likely produced with a large format camera using analog film.

There’s only one way to determine the value of a work of art: offer it to a wide audience of potential art buys and determine what at least one of them would be willing to pay to take it home. Looking beyond the simple supply-and-demand answer, any piece of art is able to fetch a certain price at auction due to only a few factors. Some aspects moving a price aren’t related to the specific piece of art as much as the artist.

  • Buyers look for a works by photographers who have a history of creating art in demand by galleries and collectors.
  • Photographers who were trained by other artists who have been successful are also rewarded for their potential.
  • In most cases, buyers believe that the art will be worth more in the future, and view the purchase as an investment.

Some reasons behind a price relate to the process of creating the art. It’s only recently that photography has become accepted as art, color photography even more recently, and many artists still consider photographs with digital manipulation in editing software like Photoshop not art at all. Photography still has a long way to go before it’s fully accepted alongside oil painting and sculpture as art. That’s reflected in value as well; while this $4 million price for Rhein II is a nice sum, it falls short of the Running Man I sculpture by Alberto Giacometti, which fetched a sale price of $104.3 million recently.

The fact that this image was captured using a large format camera, a process that is significantly more involved than pointing and shooting, helps to add to the value, but many photographers, particularly landscape artists and architectural photographers, still use large format cameras. The type of camera cannot be the sole reason driving the value of art, but it is an important factor when an artist is striving for the best quality possible.

Although this image looks simple, a lot of planning went into its creation. Artists carefully plan the time and place, bring the right equipment, and without a digital camera, do not have the luxury of taking a flurry of snapshots to choose the best image of one hundred on a memory card. Often, a work of art is part of a series or a study on a particular theme, and in the case of Rhein II, the photograph falls within a series about the river in Germany.

Ken Rockwell, a respected but divisive photographer who has one of the most popular websites about the art, has this to say about the photograph.

It is valuable because it is art, not just a photo. Rules are worthless. If [Gurksy] was just a photographer instead of an artist, he would have been crippled by the nonexistent “rule of thirds” myth, and put the horizon someplace else. In his case, the horizon slams right through the middle, which adds to the power by giving a sense of unease. Our minds ask “what’s up with this? This is so barren and empty; where is this place?”

Likewise, if it’s not captured on film, it is not art. Artists create art, not photographers. Artists may choose to work in photography, but being an artist is what matters above all…

If shot with a digital Nikon or Canon like amateur photographers, it would not have been art. If he used a zoom lens or many modern prime lenses, their distortion would have subtly curved the lines, weakening and destroying the artist’s work.

Ken doesn’t point out that Gursky did digitally manipulate the image after making the capture. The view portrayed by the image above doesn’t exist in nature. Gursky removed people, dogs, and a building from the captured image to create the art.

Nevertheless, the image is so simple that it looks like something anyone can capture, standing beside any river in the world on any dreary day. One nature of art is the ability to stir emotions in a spectator, even if that emotion is anger in response to a sale price, frustration that an image of mostly straight lines and solid colors can be considered art, jealousy that another photographer’s images wouldn’t fetch such a price, confusion about why it’s acceptable for some digitally manipulated images to be considered art while others aren’t, or questioning whether the image is art at all.

This describes the industry reaction to the sale. The Luminous Landscape forums are buzzing with comments about this sale and the image from professional photographers — mostly commercial photographers who dabble with artistic photography, specializing in medium and large format cameras.

Why spend so much money on art?

With so many problems in the world, why spend $4 million on one piece of art rather than using that money to build a school or feed starving children? This is a fair question to ask. At this high level of sophisticated art acquisition, there is a big emphasis on the investment aspect of art. With the photographer still living and with photographic art still being rare compared to other visual art methods, there is a good possibility of the value of this work increasing over the very long term.

Although it’s common to question the intent of purchasing a work of art for $4 million, investors who dedicate the same amount of money to a company to become an owner of that company usually won’t face the same questions about the virtue of their investment. Both buying art and buying a company are capitalistic endeavors, but while the value of a company can be easily justified by looking at a set of financial reports, the art is more difficult to rationalize. Regardless of the reasons, the value of a company or a work of art is whatever someone is willing to pay.

By investing in art, it sends a signal that art, in general, is worth society’s attention. Art is an important part of civilized society, and both reacts to and inspires thought that drives a society forward.

Photo: Andreas Gursky/Christie’s Images, Ltd., 2011
NPR, Seattle PI, Ken Rockwell

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Your personal human capital is an essential part of evaluating your overall worth. Human capital has a number of definitions, but in this case, it refers to a measurement of who you are, particularly in relation to how you might be seen as valuable to an employer or a client. This isn’t the only way to define a person, but since it ties directly into your future earnings and your potential net worth, it is related to finance and shouldn’t be ignored. It’s as important, or even more important, than your net worth measurement.

Consider two job applicants with identical technical skills and education, both pertaining to the job description, and a similar personality that could result in either choice being a good fit for the company. One of the applicants has indicated that he has often been called upon to present information about hie field to the public. Having presentation skills can make a prospective employee more attractive to the employer. The ability to eloquently, entertainingly, and comfortably lead a discussion or present information in front of an audience can open opportunities.

Anyone can throw together a Powerpoint presentation together, but delivering that presentation isn’t as easy as reading the bullet points. Anyone can write a speech, but elocution is a skill that requires careful honing.

Most people in “business” head directly to Toastmasters. Toastmasters uses a standardized curriculum and a safe practice environment that allows people to receive the education and experience they need to take their presenting skills to the next level. My former company, at the satellite location where I worked, had an internal Toastmasters group. We met once every two weeks to critique each other’s speeches or presentations and gain experience speaking extemporaneously about random topics assigned in the moment.

Outside of Toastmasters, you can gain experience speaking and presenting by organizing an event in your community. Libraries offer these opportunities as do community centers and religious organizations. If your field of interest holds conferences, try to get on the schedule of speakers.

Public speaking is acting and performing

Stage fright is a common barrier to increasing public speaking experience. There are two keys to overcoming stage fright or performance anxiety: being overly prepared and breathing properly. Even though the solution is simple, it isn’t always easy. Even veteran actors deal with stage fright, so it isn’t something that is easily cured even it can be managed. Acting experience can be beneficial for public speaking, as many of the skills are similar. In addition to acting, any kind of performance experience — music, dance, etc. — can have positive effects on confidence and the ability to successfully deliver a speech.

Acting also helps develop a performer’s presence. If you’re speaking publicly, you’ll need to have a presence that’s informative and trusted. The best speakers are sometimes described as “larger than life.” You know when they walk into a room that whatever they have to say will be worth hearing.

Actors develop emotional communication skills. Without saying a word, an actor can convey an emotion. The audience will be able to understand what the actor is thinking or feeling. Skilled actors can transmit those emotions to the audience, so the spectators can sympathetically feel what the actor is feeling. This is an invaluable skill for speakers. It could mean the difference between a good presentation and a speech that has the audience on the edge of their seats.

How do you suggest gaining public speaking experience?

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Podcast 109: Crazy About Money

by Flexo

Today’s guest on the Consumerism Commentary Podcast is Dr. Maggie Baker, PhD, author of Crazy About Money: How Emotions Confuse Our Money Choices and What To Do About It. Dr. Baker has been a practicing psychologist for 30 years, focusing on financial therapy and ADD/ADHD. Consumerism Commentary Podcast #109 Crazy About Money: S05E05 / 133 ... Continue reading this article…

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Your Earliest Money Memory ($50 Giveaway)

by Flexo

Today is the first day of Giveaway May at Consumerism Commentary. Every weekday this month, I will be giving away a prize to a Consumerism Commentary reader. Keep reading this article to find out how you can win a $50 gift card from Amazon.com. Yesterday, Kate Levinson appeared as a guest on the Consumerism Commentary ... Continue reading this article…

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Podcast 106: Emotional Currency, Kate Levinson

by Flexo

Today’s guest on the Consumerism Commentary Podcast is Kate Levinson, author of Emotional Currency: A Woman’s Guide to Building a Healthy Relationship with Money. Among the topics discussed, Kate talks about the differences between masculine and feminine approaches to money as well as the importance of emotions in financial decisions. Consumerism Commentary Podcast #106 Financial ... Continue reading this article…

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Decision-Making Difficult for Ambivalent People

by Flexo

That title sounds a bit obvious. In college, a time that now seems long in my past, friends wanted me to take sides on a variety of issues. I didn’t see the need to feel passionately about issues which clearly had reasonable arguments on either side. I even took pride in my ability to see ... Continue reading this article…

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