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Today on the Consumerism Commentary Podcast, Tom Dziubek speaks with Aloysa, founder of the personal finance website My Broken Coin about how her mother came to America by becoming a mail order bride. She talks about the decision to find an overseas husband, what the search process was like, the risks involved and how the decision turned out. Aloysa also talks about how she came to America and how the transition from the former Soviet Union affected her spending habits.

Consumerism Commentary Podcast
My Mother Was a Mail Order Bride: S07E05 / 187

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Table of contents

Consumerism Commentary Podcast[00:00] Introduction from Tom Dziubek
[00:38] Interview with Aloysa
[00:51] Life in Lithuania
[02:17] Becoming a mail order bride
[04:02] Risky business
[05:06] The costs involved
[06:59] The types of people who solicit mail order brides
[09:33] The dating process
[10:33] What could happen if a marriage doesn’t work
[11:32] Achieving American citizenship
[13:02] Aloysa’s mom finds her husband
[15:58] The husband’s first visit to Lithuania
[18:50] Their current marital status
[19:10] Aloysa comes to America
[20:07] Personal finances: going from communism to capitalism
[25:04] End

We always welcome feedback from listeners. If you have any comments for this episode or for any other, or if you have suggestions for future episodes, please leave us comments here or email us at podcast at this domain name.

Theme music by Mindcube.

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Government-Reported Inflation

This article was written by in Economy. 8 comments.

Over the twelve months ending with March 2012, the increase in the consumer price index (CPI-U) as reported by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, often referred to as the inflation rate, is 2.7 percent (2.3 percent if you exclude food and energy). While these numbers are below the historically-cited norm for inflation, 3 percent, the numbers are still troubling for some people.

Government-reported increases in the consumer price index do not tie to any individual’s experienced increase in the cost of living. No person can assume that if wealth grows by the rate of inflation that life is just as affordable as it was a year ago. For example, if my income was $100,000 in 2011 and $102,700 in 2012, although my salary would be keeping pace with inflation, it’s likely that I still would find that this year’s income would not afford me as much as last year’s income was able to afford me.

Helium balloon inflationWith $100,000 in a high-yield savings account, the $750 I would have earned in before-tax interest not only loses to government-reported inflation, it would be pathetic compared to any rate of increase of expenses I experienced personally.

Part of the problem is that the CPI-U is calculated by measuring the change of price of a variety of consumer goods, but each type of good is weighted according to its importance. The level of importance is taken as an average importance across all citizens based in or near cities in the United States. Thus, the weighting may not be appropriate for any one individual. For example, as of the last CPI-U calculation, gasoline for vehicle fuel was weighted 5.7 percent. 5.7 percent of the year-over-year increase in consumer prices can be attributed to the increase in gas prices.

Any one family’s exposure to the cost of gasoline could easily be greater than 5.7 percent. A household with two incomes might involve a husband and wife who both commute an hour or more to, and an hour or more from, their places of work. For a family like this, the effect of an increase in gas prices could be much more devastating to their finances than the CPI-U would indicate. The increase in this category year-over-year is 9.0 percent. So if for any family, gasoline accounts for more than 5.7 percent of all expenses, the real cost of living would have increased more than the reported inflation rate.

We are often concerned with finding investments that provide a return higher than inflation. Financial planners consider inflation one of many benchmarks. If you want to maintain purchasing power with your funds, you’d look for a low-risk investment that meets or stays on par with the rate of inflation. The government even offers inflation-protected securities, whose yields are designed to artificially keep pace with the rate of inflation, thus providing investors a method of investing with a guarantee of not losing “purchasing power.”

The comparison between investment returns as experienced by one individual and a calculation of an average increase of prices is invalid. Financial experts continue to use the average inflation rate as a benchmark for individuals because it’s easy and can seem to apply to an entire population at once — even if it really applies to no one.

The criticism of the CPI-U as a personal rate of inflation doesn’t end with the idea that an average measurement doesn’t apply to any one individual. The method of calculating inflation has changed over time, and modern calculations are criticized for masking the truth. If the rate of inflation were to be calculated the same way it had been four decades ago, the rate would be significantly higher. The public is sensitive to bad economic news, and it’s safer for the government officials who are in power to continue to report subdued numbers. The Bureau of Labor Statistics should be free from political influence, but that’s an impossible ideal, especially over the course of a generation or two.

As a result of the realities behind criticism of the inflation rate, real inflation in the cost of living is destroying your net worth. Inflation keeps investors chasing returns that, while being better than earning nothing or losing money, are not high enough to continue a standard of living. Fifteen years ago, the most popular television sets might have cost an average of about $500. This was before LCD technology and high-definition became widespread. Today, the average cost of the most popular televisions might be $1,000. Today’s LED-backlit LCD HDTVs, while $1,000 today, would have cost more than $10,000 a few years ago when the technology was new. So in one sense, advancements in technology lower consumer costs, but offsetting that reduction is the consumer demand for better equipment, and that demand outpaces the decline in prices. Nobody’s buying the first generation iPad today.

Photo: Kai Hendry
Bureau of Labor Statistics

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Last week, I acknowledged recent survey findings from the Pew Research Center showing that women are beginning to value success in their careers more than men value their own. It’s a historical twist, brought about by the idea that women entering the workforce is no longer related to a necessity, but an innate desire. Women, as a group, have a higher level of education and are increasingly choosing to pursue a successful career path.

With young children at home needing care and an increasing cost of outsourcing that care, many families need to choose a parent to stay home while the other earns money with an occupation. Women are still subject to compensation inequity — again, as a group — but in an increasing number of families, the wife is out-earning the husband. The choice is often simply financial; whoever earns the most money or has the potential to earn the most continues in their career path, while the other parent stays home to care for the child or children.

Now that more men are staying home to care for their children while their wives concentrate on their careers, it’s easier to shatter one of the long-standing myths about fatherhood. Previously, men who chose to pause their path to career success were judged inadequate to survive in the world of business.

Men are raised to value work as their main source of worth and self-esteem. Society’s underlying message is that men who make sacrifices and choose family over career advancement do it because they can’t succeed at work. But we are at the beginning of an epic shift in cultural norms. More men are finding parenthood meaningful and that is raising the status of fathers. Some men are trading career advancement for time with their family because they value the fulfillment they find in fatherhood, not because they can’t hack it in the job market. More men than ever feel that being a good father is a significant accomplishment in life.

Child and fatherResults from a survey performed last year by the University of Nebraska indicate that 75 percent of men consider being a parent very important, while only 48 percent had the same opinion about having a successful career. It’s possible, however, that there is a new stigma against being overly concerned with financial success, and this psychological aversion to being associated with the stereotypical careerist might prevent people from answering in a survey in a manner the respondent might think reflects poorly on themselves. There’s a tendency, also, to answer surveys as if one is an ideal. In other words, I might answer a survey as if I were an ideal version of myself rather than reflecting a true self-analysis.

Even if that is the case, it reflects the idea that stay-at-home-fatherhood is now a more respected life choice than it has been in the past.

Having a two-income family is still a luxury, and when at least one of the two incomes is significant enough to afford a solid living for a family of three or more, it’s a blessing. Most middle class families, when both parents are working out of necessity, it’s the ability to stay home with the children that is a luxury. It can be a difficult choice, particularly if one parent’s income is roughly equivalent to the cost of day care for his or her child or children.

The argument fails to consider yet another reality of life: one parent, either a father or a mother, struggling to earn an income and take care of one child or more, without a spouse for support.

For men: Would you put your career on hold — possibly forever — if it made more financial sense for you to stay at home with your children?

For women: Would you be willing to pursue your career full steam ahead while your partner develops a closer bond with children through more time spent with them during formative years?

Photo: Chris. P
Fathers Forum, CNN, BabyCenter

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A new survey by the Pew Research Center shows women have surpassed men in placing value on career advancement. Among 18 to 34-year-olds, 66 percent of women consider being successful in a high-paying career or job is one of the most important things or very important, compared to 59 percent of men. In 1997, 56 percent of women had the same response, almost even with men, at 58 percent.

This change doesn’t come at the expense of the importance of being a good parent or having a solid marriage. Marriage and family are strong priorities today for both men and women, with a score of over 90 percent. For men aged 18 to 34, 29 percent now list marriage as a top priority, down from 37 percent in 1997.

Career womanThe workplace has changed throughout the last century. The shift from traditional gender roles to shared responsibility in the workplace and at home is considered a beneficial change for the country. 73 percent of Americans agree that the trend of an increased role for women across professions is better for society as a whole, and 62 percent believe that shared responsibility at home leads to a more satisfying marriage. At the same time only 21 percent of Americans believe mothers of young children working outside the home is a positive approach to life, and 37 percent believe this is bad for society.

While women’s role in careers have increased, so have their wages and salaries compared to men’s. Women aged between 16 and 34 now earn more than 90 cents for every dollar earned by men in the same age range. Women, however, surpass men in education; women are more likely to have bachelor degrees, with 36 percent of women aged 25 to 29 having advanced education compared to 28 percent of men in the same age group.

This is a significant increase for women in education over the past several decades, and it’s somewhat reflected in the increase in salary parity. But women still are more likely to pause their careers for family reasons, although this is less often the case than in the past. This likely contributes to the fact that women as a group still do not match or exceed men in compensation.

Women in today’s workforce who do marry and have children are not necessarily leaving their careers to do so. Today’s woman often balances her career with her husband and children. Fully 48% of married couples in 2010 consisted of two breadwinners. The share of dual-employed couples was slightly higher in 1997 (53%). Back in 1975, however, the share of families with both a husband and wife in the labor force was only 34%.

If these trends continue, I expect sometime in the future for women’s salaries to exceed men’s salaries. Women will continue to be higher educated and will be qualified for higher-paying careers. Women will continue to increase the value they place on their career. Men will continue to pursue a stronger role in family.

Photo: @yakobusan Jakob Montrasio
Pew Research Center

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The Role of Money in Choosing a Relationship

by Flexo
Relationships couple

Do people have any kind of control over whom they fall in love with? Perhaps Cupid’s arrow strikes randomly, and there is no choice but to obey the heart — or chemicals in the brain — or sexual urges. But once that initial response has subsided, if you and your partner are headed for a ... Continue reading this article…

18 comments Read the full article →

Paying Off Layaway Accounts at Kmart

by Flexo
Kmart

When I first read the news about alleged Good Samaritans and Secret Santas paying off Kmart customers’ layaway accounts, the cynical side of my mind took over. What a great marketing maneuver for K-Mart. With mystery lay-off angels, they are saying, “Buy your gifts on layaway here, an action that could very well be profitable ... Continue reading this article…

23 comments Read the full article →

Your Relationship With Money

by Flexo

Have you ever had a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife you want to see again the moment he or she is out of your sight? Has love ever felt like a drug, something you need every minute, and you need more each time? Have you ever failed to understand why you constantly desire a lover ... Continue reading this article…

25 comments Read the full article →

Boost Your Human Capital: Get Involved and Volunteer

by Flexo
Habitat for Humanity

Consider your personal human capital as an addendum to your net worth when evaluating your overall worth. While your net worth is a good financial measurement, your human capital is a good predictor of how you’ll handle opportunities to grow in the future. In an unsteady economy, those with better developed human capital have an ... Continue reading this article…

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