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Do people have any kind of control over whom they fall in love with? Perhaps Cupid’s arrow strikes randomly, and there is no choice but to obey the heart — or chemicals in the brain — or sexual urges. But once that initial response has subsided, if you and your partner are headed for a life-long or major long-term relationship, there should be some discussion about money.

What role does that discussion have in determining the path of your relationship?

Relationships coupleA recent study explains that opposites don’t attract in relationships. If you’ve ever looked at relationships where each member of the couple is on a different side of a money-related philosophy, you’ve probably suspected this to be the case. A habitual spender in debt and a frugal saver could have a relationship full of conflict; or, if to avoid conflict money is never part of a conversation, the financial damage could be worse in the future.

Avoidance of tough discussions about money, deliberately hiding financial problems, and outright lying about a financial situation could be more damaging than the financial problems alone. When everything is out in the open, and the couple is fully aware of their individual finances, would a difference in philosophy be enough to curtain the relationship before it progressed to a more serious state?

Ginger, who wrote a guest article for Consumerism Commentary, argued that smart women should marry for money. Although the article was misunderstood by many readers, she was not saying that women should marry for quantity of money, but for their approach to money. A smart, independent woman shouldn’t need to take care of a husband as if she were his mother. The same may be true for men, though traditional sex roles tend to make the man-supporting-woman paradigm more acceptable.

There is more that goes into a successful relationship that being financially compatible. Differences in religion, social issues, values, and goals are important to address. This is a financial website, though, and readers are generally focused on their thoughts surrounding money. In planning to move a relationship forward, how important is a compatible philosophy of money when compared to other matters that define compatibility? Would you be willing to accept a difference in opinion about a divisive political issue before you accept someone who doesn’t share the same financial values? Or do you feel that you might be able to sway your partner’s approach to money more easily than changing other philosophical differences?

I’m interested in hearing opinions from every reader. What was or should be the role of money in choosing a relationship? Leave your comments below.

Photo: Dragunsk
Wired

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For almost as long as I’ve been living without a human roommate, I’ve enjoyed the company of my cat, Rupert. I adopted Rupert from my friend who determined his newborn daughter was allergic to cats. He had already owned Rupert for a long time, and I knew I’d be the cat’s new owner for the second half of his life.

Rupert was fifteen or sixteen years old when I brought him to the veterinarian to have him put to sleep this weekend. His quality of life had been worsening over the last year, though trips to the vet didn’t indicate why he was unhappy or having health problems, nor could the vet offer any suggestions to help. His suffering seemed to increase in the past weeks, and I had to make the difficult decision.

For most of my years with Rupert, I commuted to my place of work every weekday, and I knew that he would be waiting for me when I returned home. In recent months, as I’ve been working from home, Rupert kept me company when he wasn’t sleeping during the day. There were times he was a pest, but overall, he was a very sweet cat who was always happy to provide companionship. I may find a new cat sometime in the future, but not until I can settle other aspects of my life.

Here are some articles from around the web that piqued my interest lately. Read the full article →

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Although the home mortgage interest deduction is one of the most oft-cited benefits of owning a home, most taxpayers don’t take advantage of it because it requires itemizing taxes. If itemized deductions including mortgage interest paid throughout the year exceed the standard deduction, a taxpayer can take advantage of the benefit.

The benefit isn’t as great as it sounds. If you pay interest, it certainly does help to get a tax benefit, but it rarely tips the balance of the long-term financial effects of renting vs. buying a house. Don’t let the real estate industry sway your opinion about owning a house through this faulty rationale. And certainly don’t decide to take out a mortgage if you were intending to buy with cash. Since this is a deduction, your taxes are reduced by only a percentage of the interest you pay, related to your tax bracket.

The home mortgage interest deduction is currently endangered. The Obama administration and Congress are looking for ways to cut spending, and this tax deduction is on the table for consideration. Some estimated put the cost of this deduction at $100 billion each year.

Despite the cost and its overstated effects, the tax deduction has helped convince renters to become homeowners — at least among people I have spoken with. In other words, for the cost of $100 billion, the economy has seen the benefit of a growing real estate market for many years. This law has made the National Association of Realtors, a lobbying group for the real estate industry, very happy, and they are working hard to prevent the government from eliminating the tax deduction.

There are many rules that determine whether you can claim the interest you pay on your mortgage for a tax deduction. The rules help ensure that the benefit goes to home owners rather than “investors” who earn a living from flipping houses, though due to market conditions the past few years, that activity has been less of an issue.

The interest you pay for construction, purchasing or improving your primary or secondary home, whether through a mortgage, home equity loan, or home equity line of credit, qualifies. There are limitations, though. You can deduct interest paid on up to only $1,000,000 of home acquisition debt. For home equity debt, which is any loan that was taken not to construct, purchase, or improve a house, you can deduct interest paid on up to only $500,000 of this debt or the fair market value of the home, whichever is less. For taxpayers who are married, filing separately, each of these limits is reduced by half.

Normally, the total of all of your itemized deductions are limited by income, but that income limitation was lifted in 2010. It could be lifted again if the benefit is not eliminated.

Question for homeowners: Do you take the home mortgage interest deduction? Question for everyone: Should this deduction be eliminated for the sake of reducing the national budget deficit?

Photo: Wonderlane

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This is an article by Gerri Detweiler. For the past twenty years, Gerri has been an advocate helping consumers find reliable answers to their credit questions.

Just as student loans can be “good debt” or “bad debt” depending on how they are used, they can be good or bad for your credit scores, depending on how you handle them. Obviously, they can help your credit scores when you’re able to pay them on time, and hurt them when you can’t. But there are important nuances that can make the difference between earning a great score and a mediocre one.

When student loans = good credit

Student loan debtA student loan can provide a student’s first credit reference. That’s especially true now that the Credit CARD Act makes it more difficult to load up on credit cards before you turn 21. Student loans differ from credit cards in an important way, though; they are installment loans, not revolving loans like credit cards. That’s a plus when it comes to building a well-rounded credit file. “Our research has shown that (all things being equal) consumers with a wider range of credit experiences tend to be better credit risks than those with only limited credit experience,” says Anthony Sprauve, public relations director for FICO.

What about the fact that many students graduate with not one, but many, student loans? Unlike maxing out a bunch of credit cards, the fact that your report lists multiple student loans is not necessarily harmful. That’s true even if the balances are high. “While having many revolving type accounts with high balances can hurt your score — even when paid on time — the FICO scoring formula doesn’t place nearly as much importance on the debt amount and the number of loans when considering installment loans,” says Sprauve.

But, of course, it can be hard to keep track of due dates on multiple loans, so the greater the number of loans, the greater your risk that you’ll miss a payment. If you consolidate some or all of your loans it will be easier to keep track of your due dates, but don’t expect a boost to your credit scores. “Typically (consolidation) wouldn’t have a major impact on the score because it’s installment credit and the amount you owe is still the same,” says credit scoring expert Tom Quinn.

When student loans = bad credit

Missing payments on your student loans hurts your credit scores. If you pay a few days late, say on the 5th of the month when the loan is due on the 1st, it’s unlikely the loan will be reported as late. But once a payment is thirty days late, it will likely be reported to the credit reporting agencies, and your scores will suffer as a result.

If you can’t make your payments, check out flexible repayment options, such as the Income Based Repayment Program (now dubbed “Pay As You Earn” by President Obama), graduated repayment, or income-contingent repayment. Or find out if you are eligible to put your loans in deferment or forbearance. Repaying your loans through one of these programs is not likely to hurt your scores, says Quinn.

But be careful. Some students who apply for deferment or forbearance think it’s a done deal and stop paying, only to discover it was not finalized and they are considered delinquent on their loans. Make sure you have something in writing from your lender before you reduce or stop making payments.

Quinn also warns about a common misconception that loans in deferment or forbearance are ignored when credit scores are calculated. “It’s still considered because you are obligated to pay it,” he says, adding that, “Delinquencies are reported even if the loan is deferred.”

What if damage has already been done? Late payments can stay on your credit reports for up to seven years and simply paying the past due amount won’t remove those late payments. But if your federal loan goes into default, you may be able to improve your credit by rehabilitating your student loan. You’ll have to make nine monthly payments on time over a nine to ten month period, depending on your type of loan. Once you do, you can apply for rehabilitation and, if successful, the notation that your loan was in default will be removed from your credit reports.

More student loan and credit scores tips

  • Feel free to prepay. Pay off your student loans early and you’ll save money on interest. Doing so shouldn’t hurt your credit scores, though, Sprauve warns that without other installment loans you could see your scores drop slightly.
  • Keep meticulous records. From the time you take out your first student loan, you should start a file and keep copies of loan documents, statements, etc. This documentation may prove to be invaluable if you experience payment problems.
  • Pay on time. This can’t be emphasized enough. If you move, notify your lenders of your new address. A statement that goes missing does not let you off the hook for a payment. Never heard from a lender about a loan you took out? Track down the lender and find out when payments are due.

Photo: a_mina
Department of Education

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Podcast 142: New Year’s Resolutions

by Flexo

Today on the Consumerism Commentary Podcast, Tom Dziubek talks to Consumerism Commentary founder Flexo about New Year’s resolutions. Flexo discusses several tips to addressing New Year’s resolutions including performing an honest self-assessment, setting goals that are meaningful to you and breaking them down into more manageable chunks. Consumerism Commentary Podcast New Year’s Resolutions: S06E12 / ... Continue reading this article…

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How to Love Cooking

by Forest
Toast

This is a guest post by Forest from Frugal Zeitgeist. Forest writes about frugality, finance, minimalism and lifestyle. In this article, Forest shares his experiences in the kitchen. Cooking great meals is a great way to save money and stay healthy, but it’s a skill that I haven’t developed for myself. Passion can boost motivation, ... Continue reading this article…

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12 Alternative Financial Resolutions for 2012

by Flexo
New year hat

New Year’s resolutions have become so cliché that the process of making them has become a joke. People settle for mundane goals for the year like “losing weight,” “quitting smoking,” and “getting out of debt.” These are great goals, of course, but most who think about these only when the calendar changes soon forget their ... Continue reading this article…

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My Future Investing Strategy

by Flexo

Last week I met with a Certified Financial Planner for the first time. This was a free service provided by Vanguard, so it was a good opportunity to speak to a professional about my specific situation. For many years, I’ve been relying on mostly generalized advice, whether from books, large communities like the Motley Fool ... Continue reading this article…

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