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At the right age, involving children in the household financial planning process can be a good way to teach responsible money management. Children internalize best practices when they not only receive meaningful instruction, but have visible, positive role models as parents. If parents want to impart a lesson of “buy only what you can afford,” but the intended audience sees the parents struggling with debt, buying items obviously in excess of needs, the lesson won’t get through.

Involvement and modeling are the keys to passing on good financial lessons to the next generation (not financial management classes in school, which have been shown to do more harm than good). In a discussion about allowance for kids, Consumerism Commentary reader Kilae offered the following suggestion:

Another system I read about was a couple that gave their child 10% of their household income. While it sounds ludicrous, with that 10% the child had to pay an itemized bill that was 10% of the household bills: a 10% share of the mortgage, a 10% share of the utilities, a 10% share of the grocery bill, a 10% of the long-term savings and college savings, and so on. When all was said and done, the kid had around $15 left per month as play money — not a ludicrous amount, and it showed the child exactly what the parents’ money was being used on and why budgets were important.

http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5259/5437895492_b0e84aaf2b_b.jpgWhile there is something to be said for shielding children from the stresses of household financial management so they can concentrate on their educational priorities, this system could be very effective. With an active role in the family’s finances, a preteen or teenager can build valuable experiences that will translate directly to how he will manage finances when his responsibilities include a household of his own.

There’s a possible social drawback. Parents should try to ensure that children do not take these lessons as admonition of a family that does not, at least outwardly, appear to manage finances with the same skill and dedication. A judgmental attitude or a feeling of financial superiority are potential effects of an intense focus on effective money management. While financial lessons are important, I prioritize teaching children not to be judgmental, particularly based on appearances.

Is requiring involvement and shared responsibility a good way to teach financial lessons to children?

Photo: stevendepolo

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While it may not be the most exciting activity in the world, building a budget is one of the most important pieces of getting your financial life on track, especially if you’re starting from a particularly precarious point. When I first realized I needed to improve my money situation, I was in debt and had no savings. Creating a budget was my first move in the right direction. I figured out what I was required to spend for my needs, and moved on to what I’d like to spend on my wants.

The state of my finances dictated I didn’t have anything left over for wants, and I was hardly meeting my needs with my income, so I had to make some sacrifices to reduce the cost of living. After a while, when I was earning more income, out of debt, and increasing my savings, I could loosen up my budget and afford some of the wants.

Budgets are seen as negative for two reasons:

  • Typically, budgets are designed with the intent of restricting spending rather than allowing spending.
  • Typically, sticking to a budget means not having flexibility.

When budgets are viewed as negative, people are less likely to follow them. Budgets should be approached as a positive — a recipe for spending that frees you, not limits you. One way to take that approach is to add in some flexibility.

Flexibility in budget categories

With budget categories, it’s easy to feel locked in. Budgets can cause stress, and stress can physically manifest itself in many harmful ways. Chances are you’re already stressed about money, so allowing yourself to be worried about making your budget could be harmful to your health. Yet, if you’re three weeks into the month and you’ve already spent all the money you have budgeted for that month’s food, having a strict budget can lead to negative feelings about that budget. You may consider this situation your fault, if you didn’t plan the month properly and could have spent less earlier, and guilt is yet another negative feeling related to the budget.

In reality, you’re not going to just stop spending on food if you’ve reached the end of that month’s funds. You’ll either borrow from another category’s spending or, if it’s available, turn to credit to feed your family for that last week or so. Either way, if your budget is strict, you may interpret this as a step backwards, and if it happens often, it could mentally derail your financial progress.

When designing and sticking to a budget, it’s important to keep in mind that it is acceptable to borrow from an unused category to cover unexpected expenses in another, even if it’s a result of poor planning. You can always do better the next time. If you do need to resort to credit, don’t fret; pay off the debt with excess money from next month’s budget. If, however, you start to see a pattern of spending beyond your budget in one category from month to month, it’s time to reevaluate your budget and decide if you need to change your spending, adjust your categories, or earn more income to compensate.

Flexibility in time

Most people budget from one month to the next. Every month, the budget resets and you’re given a clean slate. When you’ve reached the end of the month and haven’t spent your full budget in any particular category, you have a few good options. First of all, this is a great position to be in, because you’ve spent less than you’ve expected, and you’ve survived. You can use this as an opportunity to look at your spending, and if you think this is sustainable, adjust your budget going forward to represent the lower amount of spending.

The options you have for your surplus can go a long way to improving your financial condition. Let’s say, across three categories like food, clothing, and utilities, you spent $100 less than you expected. Most of the time, that $100 would just disappear, remaining in a checking account for another day. Here are a few ways to look at that $100 and turn it into something positive.

  • Roll it forward. Apply the $100 to next month’s budget and let it be a cushion for your spending.
  • Splurge. While not best for your financial growth, creating rewards for yourself for sticking to your budget is a good way to keep yourself motivated.
  • Pay off debt. Adding $100 to your Debt Avalanche can save you money in interest.
  • Save it. Use the $100 to add to or start a high yield savings account.

In our interview with J.D. Roth earlier this month, J.D. pointed out that year-based budgeting is more effective than month-based budgeting. I think that month-based budgeting is easier to keep track of, but when you look at your expenses on a month-to-month basis, you miss expenses that come up at certain times during the year. For example, when you design a budget, you’re not necessarily thinking about spending on gifts for your family, but if you create your budget based on what you spend in February, when December comes around you may find that you haven’t planned properly. Basing your budget on the expenses you need to cover across an entire year will help you think about what you might be forgetting on a month-to-month basis.

From there, you could take your annual budget and divide by twelve to determine your monthly spending, and when that happens, flexibility of time is necessary. You could calculate that your gift-giving budget amounts to $80 a month, but when it comes time to spend that money, most of it might be spent towards the end of the year. If you start spending $80 for gits each month because it’s in your budget, you won’t have anything left over when the December holidays come around. So annual budgeting takes a little more discipline to make sure you’re spending at the right time, and it emphasizes the point that what you don’t spend in one month can be added to the next month’s budget.

The more dire the situation is, the less flexibility you may have to work with, but some flexibility and the right approach could make budgeting much more effective. Aim for a positive approach with flexibility to move between categories rather than strictness and an approach based on money scarcity, and your budget will have a better chance of succeeding. With budgeting success, your financial condition will continue to improve, and at some point in the future after long periods of good habits and increased income, a budget will be less necessary for your future overall financial success and independence.

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When I started my first real budget as an adult, the concept was not difficult. I knew I had to track my spending and keep myself from paying more than necessary for expenses I could control in order to fix my financial situation. To reverse the trend of increasing debt every month, I came up with a simple spending plan that suited my needs.

Although the software I was using to manage my personal finance — at that time, a free version of MoneyDance, though I also experimented with GnuCash — categorized my expenses into at least twenty categories. Like I discussed with J.D. Roth from Get Rich Slowly on this past Sunday’s podcast, complicated budgets don’t work as often as simple plans that break spending down into the most core components.

J.D. is a fan of the Balanced Money Formula of budgeting, which is an overall approach of spending 50% of your after-tax expenses on “needs,” 30% on “wants,” and 20% on “savings.” These ratios serve as a goal that one can strive to reach eventually, much like the ideal weight I’m slowly working towards today. But this is not a full budgeting solution. It lays the groundwork, but you need to examine your spending with a little more detail, possibly asking yourself and answering a few questions.

What constitutes a need or want? Some areas of spending can be reason to be needs when they may actually be wants, and what one person wants may be something another family needs. For an entrepreneur whose business relies on access to the internet, this is a need — and a business expense. Is a cell phone a need or a want? What about a smart phone versus a basic phone? Where does charity fit into the picture?

You will likely find that some expenses are partly needs and partly wants. Food is necessary for survival, but is dining out every week the only option for keeping a family alive?

Even once questions like the above are answered, budgeting hasn’t really started. You cannot effectively budget without tracking your finances and knowing what you are spending — and what you could spend in the ideal “low expense” world — within a variety of real, meaningful categories. If I didn’t create a category for my rent expenses when I budgeted, I may not have worked to reduce that expense at a time I really needed to keep my expenses low. If I didn’t focus specifically on the amount of money I spent on food, I wouldn’t have been able to reduce my spending at restaurants, fast-food and otherwise.

There is an essential list of categories that you need to budget for when you’re looking to reduce your expenses due to an inability to save for the future. The key is finding the balance between a plan simple enough to maintain motivation while detailed enough to have a meaningful effect. Looking at just your wants, needs, and savings is good for tracking your budgeting success, but in practical terms, you’ll need to determine specific categories.

When considering budgeting, I like to refer back to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and my college Introduction to Psychology course. Physiological needs come first, including food, water and shelter (rent or mortgage, for example), and clothing. Sex is also a physiological need, but budgeting money to spend for sex might be beyond the scope of financial needs.

Once physiological needs are covered in the budget, you need to think about safety needs. Health insurance is probably towards the top of this list, despite the fact that most people don’t budget for insurance — they rely on an employer to just deduct an amount from a paycheck. Insurance is an oft-forgotten line item in a budget, perhaps due to the need for simplification or due to a lack of consideration. Also in the safety category, but arguably a physiological need as well, are the utilities that cost money, like providing power to your home. Humans survived for many thousands of years without electricity, though, so I would not rank this as high as shelter and food. Nevertheless, it’s important for living in modern society.

All other categories and the other levels in Maslow’s hierarchy could be considered wants. Education, gift-giving, dining out, and entertainment should be part of your budget. Love and belonging, esteem, and self-actualization are the higher levels in the pyramid-shaped representation of the hierarchy. The expenses below apply to everyone within the household and do not include taxes. Debt repayment, savings, and investing aren’t on this list, though they play important roles in budgeting. They might be suited to be placed under the 20% “savings” banner, while the below categories focus on the “wants” and “needs” of the Balanced Money Formula.

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This is a guest article by Glen Craig, the publisher of Free From Broke and Parenting Family Money. See how he currently deals with his family and finances and find out how you can too. In the article, Glen shares his story of how moving back with this parents provided a second chance for his financial life, mirroring a similar experience in my life. It’s a common thread with the “Boomerang Generation.”

Once upon a time there was a care-free bachelor. He had his own apartment, a full-time job, lots of credit card debt, and virtually no savings. That person was me.

I moved out of my parents’ place before I understood what it really meant to take care of my finances myself. I got by, though. My rent was paid on time, as were my utilities, but over time, my credit card debt grew. And when I say I got by, what I really mean is I was living paycheck to paycheck, crossing my fingers that I’d have enough money until my next paycheck came.

Living on your own is expensive. I don’t need to tell you that. And the money for all of the little things had to come from somewhere. Dishware? Credit card. New broom? Credit card. Going out? Credit card. CD player dies and I need a new one? Credit card. You get the picture.

I managed to get thousands of dollars in credit card debt, and all with just about zero savings.

I knew it was no way to live. I hated seeing my credit card debt growing without anything to really show for it besides my CD collection. (Remember those?)

So I started to wise up and figure out how to get rid of my debt. I called up my credit card companies to get my interest rate lowered. I made sure to get my bills paid on time after getting hit with a bunch of late payments. I did what I could to pay more than the minimum. I even transferred a balance or two to new cards with zero balances so I could pay my debt off faster. I stopped putting so much on credit — if I couldn’t pay for something, well I couldn’t get it.

I saw my debt going down but not by as much as I wanted.

Then an interesting thing happened: I lost my apartment.

I was living in a converted one-bedroom apartment basement in a house. What I didn’t know was that the house wasn’t zoned to be two-family. Somehow the city found out and I was forced to leave the apartment. What to do? My rent was pretty reasonable where I had been — and know I knew why. Finding a new apartment would mean higher rent, a bigger security deposit, and probably paying a broker’s fee to get a place. That was a lot of money I would need up front, and remember, my savings were hardly existent at the time.

Quite honestly, I felt choked just thinking of how I was going to afford another apartment. I mean it, I felt sick. I was just getting to the point where there was a dent in my credit card debt and I was slowly starting to put away money into my savings. I was even getting smart about retirement, upping the percentage I was putting into my 401(k) at work.

There was another choice, but it wasn’t pretty: move back in with my parents.

Look, I love my parents, and they have always been there when I needed them, but giving up my freedom was a hard pill to swallow! The alternative was going back to just eking by on my paycheck because I had to pay more in rent every month.

I sucked it up. I needed to retreat and build myself back up financially before I could live on my own again. It was the only way to even have a real financial future.

My parents were awesome and welcomed me back with wide-open arms. I agreed to pay them a rent for my room and utilities, an expense that was much lower than any rent I would find.

It wasn’t easy. Moving back with my folks and my sister brought back a lot of memories, wounds, and arguments. If I was going to start-over with my finances in order to put my financial future on the right path, I would have to make sacrifices, and this was one of them.

Moving back with my folks meant that my paycheck stretched much farther than it had in a long time, but I didn’t go and blow it all. I tried to be smart about this second chance. I started putting money away in savings. I had heard about this online bank, ING Direct, that I took a chance on, socking away a good amount of savings every month. I increased the percentage that was going into my 401(k). This was a little bit after a stock market crash, so I was purchasing the funds in the plan relatively cheap.

Next was the credit cards. I was putting a lot into savings, but after some time it dawned on me that I was still paying a lot in interest on my credit card debt. I was paying more than the minimum payment, mind you, but there was still a lot of debt to take care of.

What was the point of saving more money if I was still losing on credit card interest? I switched things up and attacked my credit card debt. I put all I could into paying off that debt. With my new lower rent and expenses it didn’t take long to pay of my credit cards entirely. You don’t know how good it felt to mail out that last check!

With the next paycheck after paying off the credit card debt, I started putting money back into savings. I realized something. For the first time in I don’t know how long I actually had a positive net worth! I wasn’t in debt anymore. It was such a liberating and validating realization. The money in my paycheck was mine again and wasn’t slated for a credit card company. Yes!

It was a tough road, but after many years of increasing my debt without a whole lot to show for it I was able to come out ahead again.

Fast forward many years. I’m now married to a beautiful woman with three awesome kids. We just moved into our first house this past summer, a house we purchased with a down payment of more than 20 percent, in large part because I was able to wake up about my finances and take steps to improve my situation. And we have zero credit card debt.

If you told me when I moved out for the first time that I would move back with my parents, and it would be one of the best financial decisions I would make, I’d have told you that you were crazy. But it was one of the best moves, by far.

Here’s the moral of this story. You’ve heard other people say it, but if I can get out of credit card debt then anyone can. It’s about being able to make the sacrifices. For me that meant moving back with my folks. What does it mean for you to get out of debt?

Photo: erix!

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Citi Dividend Platinum Select Visa Card $100 Cash Back

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Podcast 94: The Ten Commandments of Money, Liz Weston

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Today’s guest on the Consumerism Commentary Podcast is Liz Weston, author of The 10 Commandments of Money: Survive and Thrive in the New Economy, and the most-read personal finance columnist on the Internet. Liz, Flexo and Bryan discuss each of the ten commandments in the book. The 10 Commandments of Money is available in the ... Continue reading this article…

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