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This is a guest article by Jennifer Calonia, Junior Editor at GoBankingRates. In the article, the author helps couples in search of their dream wedding decide which expenses are worth paying more money for.

The pressure to plan a perfectly executed wedding is a monumental undertaking, especially for those lacking a savings fund or a generous benefactor. Instead of focusing efforts — and funds — on every wedding detail, couples can save thousands just by allocating funds strategically.

While saving money on wedding planning is a common dilemma to contend with, some view their wedding as a once-in-a-lifetime investment, which is why certain key details merit a splurge to help keep the day memorable.

The wedding brideBeing able to recognize when to save or splurge on wedding elements makes all the difference when investing in the big day. Despite the minute intricacies involved in wedding planning, particular wedding to-dos are simply not that vital.

For the perfectionist, it may be difficult to accept that a limited budget often means sacrifice in one way or another. However, in letting go of the little things during the planning phase, couples can put earned savings toward big-picture expenses and possible have ample funds to work with well into their first years as newlyweds.

The wedding dress: splurge

Brides should not sell themselves short in the dress category, as being comfortable and confident on the big day sets the tone for the entire event. All eyes will be on the dress, but that’s not to say that tapping into a 401(k) account is merited for a designer gown.

To find a quality wedding gown at a value, visit sample sales, trunk shows, and bridal expos in the area. These limited time events offer discounts of 75 percent or more for the perfect “splurge” on a reasonably priced dress.

Invitations and paper goods: save

If traditional wedding invitations are a must for your main event, steer clear of costly stationary, calligraphy and unnecessary letterpress services. These additions come at a premium price as most designs are done completely by-hand. Calligraphy invitations can churn out $2 to $10 per envelope, equating to hundreds of dollars pulled from more important things like the dress budget and the venue budget.

As an alternative, couples can turn to laser-printed invitations and basic paper types from stationary stores, as they have gone a long way in terms of their aesthetic quality.

Photographer and videographer: splurge

It’s sad to say, but the ceremony and reception go by so fast, it’ll be difficult to remember every single highlight of the wedding — this is where the photographer and videographer work their magic.

Appropriating a generous portion of the wedding budget to these key players ensure that all the sweat and tears that went into planning the wedding are well documented for you to reminisce about 50 years later.

For added value, make sure to negotiate packages (think about services included in the package, rather than just the price) with both the photographer and videographer. Try also purchasing a CD of the edited wedding images so you can make your own prints for family and friends on the cheap.

Flower girl’s flower: save

To save a few bucks, skip the long-stem roses for the flower girl to toss down the aisle. No one will really be paying attention to what she’s throwing anyway, so why not save money in this category?

Rose petals can cut down florist expenses and even fake rose petals from a local craft store can replicate this time-honored tradition.

Wedding favors: save

Couples should do themselves a favor and opt out of extravagant wedding favors for reception attendees. Among the many weddings I’ve attended, I’ve probably only kept about 25 percent of the favors I’ve received.

Wedding favors sometimes even go unnoticed in the midst of the excitement. While favors act as a take-away for guests, spending less on favors and using saved funds toward things like lighting and venue can give them a much more memorable experience.

Wedding planner: splurge

Wedding planners carry the misconception of being a luxury expense among newly engaged couples. While it’s true that planners are another service to cut a check out for, their industry know-how can help couples determine the best venue, vendors and creative ideas with a specific budget in mind.

Also, there is less risk of being dazzled into unnecessary upgrades by vendors looking to squeeze an extra buck out of couples’ pockets.

It’s important to keep a level head when planning the details of the wedding, despite being on cloud nine. In the long-run, tactical money management during the process can keep couple on track with other big milestones to come, including buying a home and starting a family.

Editor’s note: It’s dangerous to refer to an expense as an investment. An investment implies that one is not spending money, but trading money for an asset that will, if one is lucky or smart, appreciates over time. Perhaps a relationship is an asset that appreciates, but a wedding is not the representation of that asset. A wedding is an expense, not an investment, pure and simple.

That said, the best type of expenses are related to once-in-a-lifetime experiences. The word “investment” is a trigger that allows people who spend what they can’t afford to rationalize their behavior. Feel free to spend what you can afford or what you like on your wedding, but I wouldn’t refer to a wedding as an investment.

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College graduation like when you beat Ganon, the resilient bad guy at the end of the classic video game, The Legend of Zelda, for the first time. You’ve been through many levels of challenges, perhaps even used a few “cheats” along the way, and did anything necessary to grow your knowledge and skills, many of which were necessary for the final test of strength.

You’ve saved Princess Zelda and were rewarded by watching one final scene and reading the names of computer programmers as they parade up the screen. You were relieved that your journey was finally complete, but before long, you realized there was more to the game.

Suddenly, you were presented with the option to begin your next journey. Your character, Link, displayed a new sword to indicate the completion of the first journey. This newly brandished sword is like your degree. With your degree in hand, it’s time to face a new world, one that is uncharted. (The map to this “second” Zelda adventure did not come with the video game.)

After graduation, it may take a moment for some to realize that you are now in control of your life and the decisions you make can have a profound effect on your future. Here are some ideas to help you, the graduate, make solid financial decisions.

1. Actively manage your expectations. You may have friends who have already graduated. They’ve provided you with endless entertainment as they talk about the “real world.” By now, you will have heard about new cars, new houses, new weddings, new kids, new relocations, new implants, and new gardeners, and you’re looking forward to sharing similar experiences.

With jobs, they have been receiving a steady income, probably sizable, and have been spending their money almost as quickly as they have been earning it.

Actually, they have probably been spending their money faster than they have been earning it, but that piece of information will be curiously missing from their stories. What your friends didn’t tell you about is debt. Ask them about their retirement plan and IRA. Ask them about their budget. You’ll likely receive blank stares, and not just because you’re being a stick in the mud.

It’s best to ignore these types of stories because the danger comes when you expect that this is how one must live life as an adult. This is actually quite expensive and detrimental to your future. By managing your expectations, you won’t be disappointed when you can’t find a management position earning $100,000 with no experience right out of college, even if your friends tell you that’s what you should look for. You won’t be disappointed when you have to settle for sharing an apartment with several strangers or moving back in with your parents until you are able to afford your own bills and establish an emergency fund.

Simply, don’t try to keep up with the “Joneses.” This hypothetical family’s perceived wealth is mostly an illusion and it’s best to focus on yourself rather than others.

2. Choose your first job carefully. Your first job sets the tone for your future earning power, particularly if you expect to stay in the same career until retirement. Earning more in your first job out of college not only allows you to save more and be flexible with your budget, but it also makes it easier to negotiate better salaries when future opportunities arise.

That being said, don’t select your first job with money as the solitary driver. It’s quite possible that the path you’ve chosen starts out without much opportunity. If the job that interests you is not in high demand, then you will have to settle for what is available. Like a professor told me as I was pursuing music education in college, “If there’s any other career that could possibly make you happy, consider changing majors.” If you are pursuing your calling, be prepared for a bumpy ride as you progress, mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially.

3. Pay off debt. Many college graduates leave school with credit card debt. While in school, education is your first priority, so depending on your course load’s aggressiveness, you may not have had a job. However, you still had expenses, and your parents may not have provided for you. This is perfectly normal, but it must be attended to immediately.

Unless you are starting in an industry where image is important, it’s time to pay down your debt. With newfound income due to your first job, put any available funds into paying off your credit card balances, and do not add new credit card debt under any circumstances. The debt avalanche is the most mathematically pleasing solution to paying off credit card debt.

Chances are you have student loans to pay off as well. Consolidate these when possible to take advantage of lower rates, but don’t slow down your repayment. You may decide to get your master’s degree, and it’s best to do so without compounding more student loan debt.

4. Automate your savings. Automation is the key to creating habits without having to change your behavior much. If you have a new job and your employer is somewhat familiar with twenty-first century technology, they will have direct deposit available. This will allow you to deposit your paycheck directly into a checking or savings account (and a high-yield savings account is preferable).

From the savings account, you can decide how much you need for spending money each week and how much you need to pay your bills each month. Transfer only what you need and leave the rest in the account earning interest. Work with your bank to create instructions for these transfers so they take place automatically.

This is probably the biggest component of building an emergency fund.

5. Investing basics: Open an IRA and 401(k). Once you’ve automated your savings and are in control of your bills, you may have noticed you have money left over. Rather than buying a new car for $4,000 down and monthly payments of $300, you started with a used car for $8,000. With your saved payments, you can open a Roth IRA to take advantage of what will probably the lowest interest bracket you’ll ever be in.

If your employer offers a 401(k) or its cousin the 403(b), take advantage of this option as soon as possible. In many cases, companies offer “employer matching” contributions; for example, for every $1.00 you contribute, your company may thrown in an extra $0.50, you to one-eighth of your salary. This is free money, and you should accept it without question. Invest in your 401(k) at least to the limit of your employer match.

Your 401(k) may have some confusing options. If an index fund is available, that should be your first choice. Otherwise, your company may offer an automatic rebalancing plan based on your age or years until retirement, or a mutual fund that does the same. That may be a good choice for the novice investor.

6. Develop a plan, but be flexible. Your friends’ stories were missing something. While they spoke of all the exciting things they are buying and doing, they didn’t mention to you where they’d like to be in 5, 10, 25, or 40 years. Perhaps they have some vision of what their future might hold, but they don’t have a plan, something that will explain how they will get to that point.

If you haven’t already, decide where you want to be with your life in the short-term and the long-term. Think about not just the size of your bank account, but about all aspects of your life. For each goal, determine what you will need for its achievement. This doesn’t have to be exact, and without much experience in the workplace, you shouldn’t expect it to be.

Now that you have your plan, expect obstacles preventing you from reaching your goals, but also expect things that will require you to change your expectations, much like the first point above. It is said that people fall in love when they least expect it. Suddenly your own plans must incorporate someone else’s. It’s important to be flexible, because life has a habit of finding its own course.

7. You only live once. It’s important to think about the future and make the wisest financial decisions. But this is your life, and it’s the only one you get. Balance your future plans with making the most out of today’s experiences. Remember that money isn’t the most important thing in the world, but it does let you do some amazing things.

If you enjoyed this article, please share it with your friends and other college graduates close to you by passing it along.

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This is a guest article by Sam, the author of the blog Financial Samurai and the founder of the Yakezie Challenge and Network. He writes a column for Consumerism Commentary every other Tuesday.

This past summer I went to my friends Peter and Stephanie’s wedding in Hawaii. Peter is 35, but looks 25, and works as a manager at a boutique strategy consulting firm. He probably pulls in between $300,000 and $400,000 a year, but you’d never know it by the way he casually dresses outside of work. Peter is a jeans and a t-shirt kind of guy and was once the quintessential super-motivated boyfriend. Stephanie is 31, but actually looks 22 and makes women jealous because she is so petite. Stephanie is also a manager at an accounting firm and earns between $100,000 and $150,000 a year with much better hours than Peter.

With roughly half a million a year in combined income and no family to support, Peter and Stephanie are surely considered well-to-do, even in an expensive city such as San Francisco. One would think that Peter and Stephanie would throw a lavish wedding of 200 or more people at some fancy resort for $80,000 to $100,000 like every other couple I know who makes that much. Not so.

Stephanie is even more conservative in her spending habits than Peter. Stephanie’s favorite store is Target, where twice a year she’ll splurge anywhere between $100 and $200 on her favorite clothes. She’s not into jewelry and her biggest vice is collecting $2 magnets and used stamps whenever she goes on trips. Stephanie is as low maintenance and non-material as it gets — a guy’s dream!

Lest you think Peter and Stephanie are cheap, I assure you they are not. They donate more than $10,000 a year to a charity I’m involved with, and they don’t skimp on their vacation adventures abroad.

The wedding

After reading their backgrounds, how much do you think they spent on their wedding? How about $50,000, or just one tenth their gross annual income? Nope, not even close. Including airfare, they spent $2,050, or just 0.4% of their annual gross income! Let’s break down the costs:

  • Airfare for two from SF to Kauai: $1,100
  • Wedding ceremony with ukulele player and minister: $250
  • Photographer with CD of photos: $300
  • Beach venue: Free
  • Hawaiian lunch reception for 20 where Peter first took Stephanie out on a date: $400 after tip

Peter and Stephanie invited their immediate family and closest friends. They didn’t want to make their wedding a big spectacle at all. For those who were able to fly out, fantastic. For those who weren’t, they threw a 50 person house party for them upon their return.

The wedding was absolutely magical. There was no stress and such a casual way about everything. The sun shined warmly and you could hear the palm trees ruffle in the breeze as the ukulele hummed and the minister preached. I’ve been to around 20 weddings, and this one was the most memorable by far.

What’s with the massive spending?

I don’t really understand the point of spending much more than $5,000 on a wedding, no matter what your income is. Sure, you want your moment to be magical, but the magic is more about surrounding yourself with magical people than thousand dollar floral arrangements and lobster tail entrees.

Instead of spending $20,000 (the average cost of an American wedding), you can use the money towards a house down payment or new household items. Invest the $20,000 in your retirement or in your child’s education. There are countless better ways to spend $20,000 than on a wedding that lasts half a day.

Like my one-tenth rule for car buying, perhaps each of us should adopt the one-tenth rule for wedding expenses. If you make $100,000, spend no more than $10,000 on your wedding. The rule helps ensure that you focus on what’s truly important, while maintaining sound finances. If you want to spend that typical American wedding amount of $20,000, make it a goal and try and make $200,000 or more before you get married. Peter and Stephanie spent 0.4% of their gross annual income on their wedding; surely you can spend 25 times their percentage and still have a grand time too!

How much did you or would you spend on a wedding? Do you believe it’s right for a couple to ask their parents to pay if they can’t afford the wedding themselves?

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This is a guest article by Aaron Pinkston, founder of Clarifinancial. He wasn’t satisfied with the ways people had to get life insurance quotes, so he created something better.

Have you ever noticed you can relax about decisions you made while others around you are still running around frantically? On the other hand, you probably have certain decision obsessions that seem to grab all your energy and focus.

Some people are maximizers and feel compelled to find the single best possible solution available (or find a new one). Other people are satisficers who are comfortable with decisions they make, as long as they are mostly confident the decision they make is reasonably good.

Many people seem to believe being a satisficer is better because they are happier and can make decisions more efficiently than maximizers. However, I believe there is a lot of value in being a maximizer. Like most things, you can probably have both attributes.

I know that I am a maximizer in some parts of my life but a satisficer in others. In fact, I can be more specific than that — I am only a maximizer in areas that matter to me.

Matrimonial mania

People love to give examples of weddings, so I’ll follow suit. When it came to my wedding, I was a satisficer. Both my wife and I thought it was a silly question when people asked what our “colors” were. I had no idea what that question even meant!

Secretly, I think my mom took it too far when she planted the garden with flowers in the color we were forced to choose. The only reason I let her do that was because she plants annuals, which are plants that die after just one year. She even considered the blooming cycles of different plants to maximize the color on our wedding date. But to her, this was an important decision that would help make the whole design more harmonious.

Come wedding day, we moved it inside because of the rain and everybody was happy.

Am I saying my wedding was unimportant to me? Sort of. But only because I maximized my decision for a life partner. Others seem to take the opposite approach.

Happiness and innovation

I agree with the research that shows satisficers are usually happier. I know I’m consistently happy when I don’t have to worry about something, and this includes many things in my life, like what I wear.

But I love a challenge. Sometimes, being exceptionally great just isn’t enough. It’s not until I have found the very best possible answer that I can experience true and lasting satisfaction. Satisficers might typically be happier, but if it weren’t for maximizers, the quality of our lives would stagnate.

Look at all the innovation around you. Better yet, since you’re reading this on a computer, stop to think about all the innovation at your finger tips. I’d be willing to bet that your computer and the network of computers that enable you to read these words wouldn’t rock so hard if folks were okay with the answer they already had. In fact, as good as it is, it’s not good enough for some. What will they create next?

Those people are maximizers in part of their life but are probably satisficers in other areas. We wouldn’t have knives if a chipped rock was good enough. Knives come in handy. I have a few in my kitchen. But I don’t need them to be the best.

Think about it. Are you a maximizer in some areas of your life and a satisficer in other areas? When are you content when others continue searching and when do you keep looking for better answers when others have moved on?

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Tax-Deductible Weddings, Part 2

by Sasha

We’ve talked about tax deductions related to your reception site, but there are a few other nice opportunities for wedding-related deductions that shouldn’t be missed, both for during and after your wedding. The I Do Foundation has a number of creative ways to incorporate giving into the wedding itself, which you can do through them ... Continue reading this article…

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Tax-Deductible Weddings, Part 1

by Sasha

We’re entering the peak wedding season, it seems. Ever since I got engaged earlier this year, I’ve been bombarded by sales pitches from every angle. They’re certainly tricky. They come disguised in several colors of tulle, bearing elegantly inscribed messages to remind me that I only live once and want my special day to be ... Continue reading this article…

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This Week in the Archives: MBA Degrees, Fancy Weddings and Student Loans

by Flexo

In case you haven’t been visiting Consumerism Commentary for a year or two, here are some of the articles you may have missed. These are from April 23-30, 2006: * Apr. 24: The Penny Costs More Than One Cent (5 comments) * Apr. 24: Good News: Get Your Degree in Two Weeks (5 comments) * ... Continue reading this article…

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11 Best Deals for Spring Shopping

by Flexo

Spring is obviously not the best time to shop for shorts, swimwear, and sandals. Retailers know that they can sell these items for much more than they could other times of the year. Other items can be found at great prices, according to Smart Money Magazine. These products aren’t for everyone, and some seem to ... Continue reading this article…

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