I think this is ABSOLUTELY what the author was attempting and did not quite convey.

A relationship is a partnership (in my opinion) and both should be trying to contribute equally. If one or both enter into it expecting to be taken care of ALL the time instead of in times of need, then one or both need to be HONEST about that, or about where they think the relationship was going. If somebody is okay with being someone’s sugar daddy/mommy, that’s cool, so long as they understand that this person probably can’t be relied upon to help if something bad happens, e.g., an extended illness or lost of income.

I think what the author was trying to convey was that life is hard enough without taking on someone with a LOT of baggage. Everyone has baggage and nobody’s perfect, everyone makes mistakes when you’re learning things like money management and whatnot, but if you wind up married to someone who incurs MASSIVE debt, taking care of them and wondering how you got to that point, well, it’s because you didn’t take into account their spending habits. I would hope she isn’t meaning that if you find out someone has debts or doesn’t make 150k or more a year you immediately lose their number after the second date; I’m interpreting her advice to basically be ‘Before you enter into something serious with someone, consider exactly WHAT you are willing to put in, and how far you are willing to take this if the person is irresponsible.’

My point here is that we need a commonly agreed definition of what the phrase “Marrying for money” actually means before we can even start debating whether or not its good..

That’s why I think these types of polls are flawed. People have to many ways to rationalize and deny the role money plays in their choices.

Another example: many men may say they didn’t make a shallow decision when marrying and didn’t marry their wives based on looks because she’s smart and has a good career. However they never even gave women below a certain looks threshold a shot when considering women for marriage material. So even though for these guys looks weren’t the ONLY criteria, it still was one of the first and it informed every following step in the selection process as a result.

Seems like women are just greedy selfish people who wont give someone a chance over how much money there worth. Materialistic minded and not really intrested in the real point its about love not money.

It sounds like you do not love nor accept your partner for who he is….

“Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails” 1 Cor 13:4-8

Absolutely love this quote:
“Who wants a man with no financial plan in place? I certainly don’t.”

So the same should apply to men right? Wealthy men should only marry women with equal or greater assets? You keep referring to “smart women.” I’m guessing from the tone of your “article” that you are referring to conniving and deceitful women, and not intelligent business women.

How about this one;
“Women who choose financially savvy partners fare better than their counterparts who don’t.”
Where are you getting this information; your ass? It’s been shown time and again, that low income and high income individuals, share roughly the same happiness level (excluding those so poor they can’t afford basic needs, though even this is moot with the smallest amount of effort).

It’s funny how most of the women who claim that marrying someone wealthy is smart, are the ditsy fake women who couldn’t make it as a McDonald’s burger flipper. I can’t recall [post if you have a link] one article, blog or story, about a successful and rich woman stating the issues she had marrying a working poor man, which were miraculously solved by a larger bank account.

Get over yourself. A “fashionista” graduate student? Hate to break it to you, but you’re a bullshit artist at heat, no better than a used car saleman, with the only difference being your commission. It makes perfect sense that you would write so terrible piece of crap

I think it was pointed out in another comment; a man who “buys” his wife, is simply buying another toy, just like his car, his boat, his jet, etc. You’re a pretty object that comes with payments, just like a lease, and guess what; when the new model comes out, or you have a bit of “wear” you’re going to be dropped in a heartbeat for the newest of the line. Where do you think prenupts came from?

I could go on, but I’ve already wasted enough time responding to what can only be a troll, or a whore.. most likely both.

Smart men deserve smart women…PERIOD!

I can tell you what happened to me that is why I am at this site. I married a bum essentially, who lied to me about his job and his life. He embazzled money from my family, we lost money in the amounts of 7digits, I lost all my savings and this useless _____ kidnapped our son in this entire process, leading to a legal battle which cost me tens of thousands more to get him back. He was also a abusive alcoholic f__. If you think I am stupid, let me tell you, he was so good at pretending and keeping things down low, I didn’t know all this till we got married, even his family was in on all of it. I am not ugly, in fact I am approached by modeling agencies in every country I go, I lived on 3 continents and had a great life. Essentially, I am beautiful, I am very savvy about the world, I have my own money and I am not a material girl. I was just Naive and too trusting. I got beat every few days, my credit cards stolen by him and me and my son were almost shot in our heads with his guns. Till this day, he refuses to give our son up..Know why? Cause he knows my family has the money he nor his family could ever have even if they work till death and not sleep. He wants to milk our son in the future. So all you guys who think you have so much money and know so much, Please..think before you speak. Your little girls might be next.

If I had to make the choice again, I would do as this author suggests and Marry someone on Par with me, not some pretentious bum who can’t even spell. Ladies, Never be soft-hearted because you are the ones who suffer in the end. At the end of the day, my poor son is the one who suffers, he is still to young to understand what we both have been through and what he is to expect in the future.

(1) Do you match my investment (in the marriage) on a dollar-for-dollar basis? Unless you do (and most people can’t, believe me), what use are you as a partner? Are you so certain you want to define the relationship as a financial transaction?

When you choose to use finance as a yardstick, you fall short. I wouldn’t marry you. All your good looks, intelligence, and eloquence mean nothing. There is no definitive value in them. In effect, your market positioning has devalued your assets.

If we did get married, it would be a case of me buying a new TV or a coffee maker. And you would be discarded or replaced with equal ease. Are you certain that’s what you want?

(2) You have stopped talking about financial security, and started talking about profit. Understand that the two are very different. Not going bankrupt is financially secure. Not going bankrupt but not generating millions, is financially unprofitable.

Are you referring to a man who is financially secure (can pay his loans), or a man who is rich? If you meant the former, your title is wrong. It should be “Smart Women Marry for SECURITY”.

(3) You are not “in control” of your financial destiny if you marry me for money. Rather, I’M in control of YOUR financial destiny. That’s like saying “I have control of my financial destiny now, because I am an employee in company X”. It’s delusional.

You have INFLUENCE, which is entirely different from control. And it’s far less powerful.

(4) You have misunderstood your own quote. It says that the unity comes from struggling together to make ends meet, to make a profit, etc. It says nothing about being acquired as a luxury item, and then leaving the other person to do all the work.

Part of financial security means having the willingness to tough things out. I wouldn’t pick a partner who’s in it for a quick buck, and who’s so openly a cop-out. From the way you present yourself, I know you’re going to cut and run when times get bad.

YOU aren’t a financially secure bet.

No offence, but before bringing up the subject of finance, do spend some time thinking as a business woman. Even stepping back from the emotional context, and looking at it in a level-headed way, your discussion of marriage and finance is like a treatise on unicorns.

Fascinating, but useless.

“Financial viability is a major component of successful marriage” is just shameless double-talk which really means “men who can’t afford to buy a woman’s happiness can go to hell”.

But as women become increasingly self-centered, materialistic whores, many men are wising up and putting off marriage until later in life. Those already married, more than ever before, are taking judicious steps to secure their assets in the event of a split. If the above article is any true indication of the pulse of the contemporary American female, it is a trend which we can only expect to continue into the future.

The author would do well to consider that men who use wealth to attract or manipulate female companions are typically very superficial and fickle in their affections and loyalties, besides being the quickest to move onto the next “pretty face”, as the poster here has ironically suggested.

I am attracted to men that look like my husband-tall, dark, muscular, shaved head with a goatee. Does that make me a bad person-Heck no. LOL Just stop, everyone likes what they like, nothing wrong what that!

I don’t believe in marrying “for money” but I’d never marry a man who was broke because after the honeymoon is over, reality sets in. Car problems, no health insurance, lack of a vacation…ever- that’s my sister’s reality. She is miserable. Marry someone with goals who understands that life involves fundamental basics for living.

Anything less is settling for unhappiness.

No one wants to take on someones financial irresponsibility. I have to take care of myself and my disabled father because he was bad with money and has no retirement of any sort. No one wants to look for a mate with excess baggage, whether they are emotional, violent, or financial.

So yes, when I look for a mate, I’d like someone with a job. Does that mean he has to make 100k a year? Absolutely not. It means he is trying and doing his part. I’d marry a fry cook from McDonalds without a second thought if I knew he was the type of person to do his part and work hard. It’s not marrying for money, it’s marrying someone who is responsible and doing what they can to move forward.

My mother took in a young man when I was in highschool that was only a few years older than me that she met on the internet. For 3 years he was “applying for jobs”, but for 3 years he sucked thousands of dollars out of her to support him while he lived with us. That is what the author is referring to in my opinion. That is something we, as women, should not marry into. Otherwise you’re just supporting another child.

It’s the same for men, I’d never expect a man to marry a woman who either 1. doesn’t work or 2. if she doesn’t work, she doesn’t take care of things around the house either (same for women, btw, if my husband doesn’t work, I expect him to be doing things around the house while he looks for work or taking care of the kids).

And to the commentators talking about women fighting for alimony. I left my husband and denied alimony because I decided I was going to stand on my own two feet. So no, not all women are out for sugar daddy’s and alimony. That’s not the purpose of this article at all.

she always says that she wants to leave me for a man that can pay for her expensive goods, even though I have a stable job and I save my money (or should I say: TRY to save our money, because my girfriend pushes me into withdrawing money from my savings and spending it on expensive clothes and foods)