Smart men deserve smart women…PERIOD!

I can tell you what happened to me that is why I am at this site. I married a bum essentially, who lied to me about his job and his life. He embazzled money from my family, we lost money in the amounts of 7digits, I lost all my savings and this useless _____ kidnapped our son in this entire process, leading to a legal battle which cost me tens of thousands more to get him back. He was also a abusive alcoholic f__. If you think I am stupid, let me tell you, he was so good at pretending and keeping things down low, I didn’t know all this till we got married, even his family was in on all of it. I am not ugly, in fact I am approached by modeling agencies in every country I go, I lived on 3 continents and had a great life. Essentially, I am beautiful, I am very savvy about the world, I have my own money and I am not a material girl. I was just Naive and too trusting. I got beat every few days, my credit cards stolen by him and me and my son were almost shot in our heads with his guns. Till this day, he refuses to give our son up..Know why? Cause he knows my family has the money he nor his family could ever have even if they work till death and not sleep. He wants to milk our son in the future. So all you guys who think you have so much money and know so much, Please..think before you speak. Your little girls might be next.

If I had to make the choice again, I would do as this author suggests and Marry someone on Par with me, not some pretentious bum who can’t even spell. Ladies, Never be soft-hearted because you are the ones who suffer in the end. At the end of the day, my poor son is the one who suffers, he is still to young to understand what we both have been through and what he is to expect in the future.

(1) Do you match my investment (in the marriage) on a dollar-for-dollar basis? Unless you do (and most people can’t, believe me), what use are you as a partner? Are you so certain you want to define the relationship as a financial transaction?

When you choose to use finance as a yardstick, you fall short. I wouldn’t marry you. All your good looks, intelligence, and eloquence mean nothing. There is no definitive value in them. In effect, your market positioning has devalued your assets.

If we did get married, it would be a case of me buying a new TV or a coffee maker. And you would be discarded or replaced with equal ease. Are you certain that’s what you want?

(2) You have stopped talking about financial security, and started talking about profit. Understand that the two are very different. Not going bankrupt is financially secure. Not going bankrupt but not generating millions, is financially unprofitable.

Are you referring to a man who is financially secure (can pay his loans), or a man who is rich? If you meant the former, your title is wrong. It should be “Smart Women Marry for SECURITY”.

(3) You are not “in control” of your financial destiny if you marry me for money. Rather, I’M in control of YOUR financial destiny. That’s like saying “I have control of my financial destiny now, because I am an employee in company X”. It’s delusional.

You have INFLUENCE, which is entirely different from control. And it’s far less powerful.

(4) You have misunderstood your own quote. It says that the unity comes from struggling together to make ends meet, to make a profit, etc. It says nothing about being acquired as a luxury item, and then leaving the other person to do all the work.

Part of financial security means having the willingness to tough things out. I wouldn’t pick a partner who’s in it for a quick buck, and who’s so openly a cop-out. From the way you present yourself, I know you’re going to cut and run when times get bad.

YOU aren’t a financially secure bet.

No offence, but before bringing up the subject of finance, do spend some time thinking as a business woman. Even stepping back from the emotional context, and looking at it in a level-headed way, your discussion of marriage and finance is like a treatise on unicorns.

Fascinating, but useless.

“Financial viability is a major component of successful marriage” is just shameless double-talk which really means “men who can’t afford to buy a woman’s happiness can go to hell”.

But as women become increasingly self-centered, materialistic whores, many men are wising up and putting off marriage until later in life. Those already married, more than ever before, are taking judicious steps to secure their assets in the event of a split. If the above article is any true indication of the pulse of the contemporary American female, it is a trend which we can only expect to continue into the future.

The author would do well to consider that men who use wealth to attract or manipulate female companions are typically very superficial and fickle in their affections and loyalties, besides being the quickest to move onto the next “pretty face”, as the poster here has ironically suggested.

I am attracted to men that look like my husband-tall, dark, muscular, shaved head with a goatee. Does that make me a bad person-Heck no. LOL Just stop, everyone likes what they like, nothing wrong what that!

I don’t believe in marrying “for money” but I’d never marry a man who was broke because after the honeymoon is over, reality sets in. Car problems, no health insurance, lack of a vacation…ever- that’s my sister’s reality. She is miserable. Marry someone with goals who understands that life involves fundamental basics for living.

Anything less is settling for unhappiness.

No one wants to take on someones financial irresponsibility. I have to take care of myself and my disabled father because he was bad with money and has no retirement of any sort. No one wants to look for a mate with excess baggage, whether they are emotional, violent, or financial.

So yes, when I look for a mate, I’d like someone with a job. Does that mean he has to make 100k a year? Absolutely not. It means he is trying and doing his part. I’d marry a fry cook from McDonalds without a second thought if I knew he was the type of person to do his part and work hard. It’s not marrying for money, it’s marrying someone who is responsible and doing what they can to move forward.

My mother took in a young man when I was in highschool that was only a few years older than me that she met on the internet. For 3 years he was “applying for jobs”, but for 3 years he sucked thousands of dollars out of her to support him while he lived with us. That is what the author is referring to in my opinion. That is something we, as women, should not marry into. Otherwise you’re just supporting another child.

It’s the same for men, I’d never expect a man to marry a woman who either 1. doesn’t work or 2. if she doesn’t work, she doesn’t take care of things around the house either (same for women, btw, if my husband doesn’t work, I expect him to be doing things around the house while he looks for work or taking care of the kids).

And to the commentators talking about women fighting for alimony. I left my husband and denied alimony because I decided I was going to stand on my own two feet. So no, not all women are out for sugar daddy’s and alimony. That’s not the purpose of this article at all.

she always says that she wants to leave me for a man that can pay for her expensive goods, even though I have a stable job and I save my money (or should I say: TRY to save our money, because my girfriend pushes me into withdrawing money from my savings and spending it on expensive clothes and foods)

Knowing someone is wealthy or business savvy, or have a great talent in sports, or famous, or having any kind of high status, will not in anyway show what they are like as a person! Definitely and absolutely not!

Doctor who turns out to be a killer, a business exec who embezzels money, a celebrity who is a drug addict, a congressman who is a pedophile, a mayor who solicits call girls. The list goes on, just read the news. Guess what these people have? Money, status and power. Guess what they dont have? Character. Who suffers? Their family and society.

My advice: Choose a persons personality/character over money, talent or status. It does take time to get to know someone, but its worth it.

It is much easier for men to get money and gain status, than for them to be a good person. Rags to riches is not uncommon this days, but change in character from bad to good seldom happens. Being rich and famous, does not automatically change their personality (usually it gets worse).

Smart women marry for character. Dumb women gets fooled by Money, Fame and Power.

If you don’t mind… How much do you spend on the accountant each year? I’m just curious because we’ve never had one. It sounds nice to have one, though fortunately we’ve been able to get things under control ourselves.

Actually, I think my husband and I enjoy some of our money talk (so long as we’re making progress, that is, lol). It’s brought us closer together because we’re talking about our common goals and working on problems together.

Fact of the matter is, no marriage can be happy when income is in the bottom decile with 2 kids before your mid 20s, despite long work-weeks at minimum wage.

Marry someone who you are attracted to and love to be around. It’s okay to expect financial integrity, you don’t want to marry some happy-go-lucky financial nightmare, but beyond that people are not things you acquire. No, this advice is not any brave new world, it’s just encouraging gold-digging with a new label.

You’ll notice that the author realizes this on some level too, the trailer-trash seediness of it all, which is why (presumably) she doesn’t state her name. When she says “Let me preface this by stating that I am not suggesting that women marry solely for money” she is saying: “women should marry primarily for money,”

But commenters like you are too often committed to insulting over women because they have different views than you do. I can almost bet that you’re miserable wherever you happen to be in your life. I have enough respect or myself and others not to stoop to your levels. But, it just shows how low you are in your life right now.

Your problem isnt me, and my views because I promise you, my marriage is wonderful and it’s based on the sweetest love, something you can’t relate to. I just happen to have a great package, a man who loves and respects me and is as financially savvy as I am, so yes, God has had mercy on my soul and blessed me with what has been the best thing to happen to me in the last 5 years. I refuse to apologize for that.

Women that marry for money are prostitutes, high-paid prostitutes. How can they be smarter than women who have actually worked their asses off their whole lives to be rich by themselves and give living proof to other women that they do not need to live under the hegemony of a man-controlled world? They are only selling their bodies for money, most likely because they have low self-esteem. You’re a whore and an embarrassment to your gender. This is the worst form of rationality I’ve ever seen. May God have mercy on your soul.

I am a man who looks after his money, but my girlfriend spends money like water.

I own three houses (inherited two and worked for one myself) and I have got money saved away in investments.

I have two jobs, during the day I work as a cleaner and at night I drive Taxis. For cleaning I get paid $15 an hour for cleaning hotel rooms, driving Taxis I get about $120 a night. On Friday and Saturday I can get up to $200 a night. I drive four nights a week.

In an average week I get about $1200. I also get money through renting out one of my houses.

(Please note, I live in Australia. unskilled labour is much higher paid here than the USA.)

I manage to save money because I do not spend very much- I know my city very well so I know where to get free stuff and where to eat for free.

My girlfriend would not marry me simply because I do not have a “good job”, even though I am financially sound.

She said that she does not want to marry a cleaner because it is not a “respectable job”, and her family in Korea would be embarrassed. She does not even want to show me to her parents, she said that I would have to look for a “better job”.

I have a university degree, a Bachelor of Arts in History and Sociology with second class honours, I also did a Graduate Diploma in Humanities, which involved the completion of a research thesis; therefore if I look hard enough I may be able to get a job in the public sector or something.

In all honesty, I was too lazy to look for a more professional job after finishing university; and to be honesty I still am too lazy to look for a better job. But there is no real incentive for me to do so, as I am contented with my income, as my two jobs give me more than enough to do everything I want in life.

Money is all that matters in the end of the day right? I clean toilets and hotel rooms for a living, but I have got cash and assets to live a good life.