What a difference a couple weeks makes! Craig has gone from depressed online dater to someone with a ton of self esteem. What happened in those two weeks you ask? First of all, Craig reached his one-month anniversary on his site, so his account was automatically upgraded to “regular member” status. This helps him show up in more search results since many women choose to view men who have been members at least one month to weed out less serious candidates. Second of all, Craig did raise his reported income level from $55,000 to $100,000 thanks to all the advice from readers who said that even though women say they don’t care about money, they really do.
The final major difference Craig employed was to stop feeling sorry for himself and start actively going out and contacting women he finds interesting. The more he contacted, the more responses he got. It’s not like every woman is responding. Far from it. Instead, Craig notes that about one in every five women get back to him. Simple math therefore dictates that if he were to contact 30 women a month, he’d be able to start dialogues with around six of them — and that is exactly what he’s done.
The key advice Craig tells us during our weekly poker games is that online dating is a numbers game. “Take nothing personally guys! There are so many women out there looking for love, it just takes patience!” “I’ve lined up two dates a week for the past two weeks, and I’m planning on going out with this hot tamale!”
Craig brings up a picture of this one beautiful woman on his iPhone and everybody starts clamoring. She’s incredibly fit with flaming red hair and a body that could very well be in the next Sports Illustrated swimsuit magazine. “Wow, you sure she didn’t respond to you by mistake?” asked one player. “Craig, there’s no way in hell you’re going out with her,” says another.
With each passing of the iPhone, we all take turns busting Craig’s chops, now that he thinks he’s Casanova. All was going according to plan until the phone reached one fella who did a double take. “Wait a minute, I could have sworn I’ve seen her somewhere before.”
“Shut the hell up, Tim. You’ve never seen her before fool!” Craig retorted.
“No, no, I really have seen her before! She was on Craigslist’s Adult Services section before the Feds shut it down,” Tim explained. At this point, we all busted out laughing. All of us, except for Tim. “I’m dead serious guys! Since the Feds shut down Craigslist’s shady section, where do you think all these women suddenly go?”
“Hmmm, good point Tim, but I don’t care. She’s hot and the only thing I’m paying for is sashimi and sake, punk!” Craig says defiantly.
Let’s discuss: he said
I’m sure some of you want to rewind back to Craig’s second initiative, and that is him raising his income level to $100,000. Is it really so bad to fudge a little on income if women fudge on their weight, height, and age? Craig actually went out with one 33 year old woman last week who looked like she was still in her mid twenties from her picture. Surprise, surprise. She looked like she was in her mid twenties because the picture was taken six years ago! Craig couldn’t wait to pay the bill and get out!
What’s the harm in saying you make $45,000 a year more than you really make? Who’s to say Craig can’t make $45,000 more in the next 12 months? Craig certainly can, and until 12 months is over, he’s not lying one bit. So long as Craig treats the woman well, that’s all that matters since he looks exactly like what his pictures show, and enjoys things exactly as his profile describes.
Let’s discuss: she said
Craig is actually incredibly disappointed by this red-haired woman who calls herself AvedaQueen. thanks to Tim’s comments. She is an incredibly attractive hair colorist who hasn’t been responsive, yet she has agreed to go out with him. She’s an eight out of ten in Craig’s mind in terms of attractiveness. Now all Craig thinks about is whether AvedaQueen really is a prostitute and whether she finds Craig interesting.
It doesn’t matter one bit that AvedaQueen colors hair for a living or has a five year old child at 28 years old. He likes her profile and finds her attractive. If she is a part-time prostitute, how does she expect to get paid since most guys will have no idea such a curve ball is coming? Perhaps after a great evening of fine wine, where she’s lulled him in so deeply with her beauty and charm, she can tell him the truth and proposition him? Yes, that must be it because at that point, she’ll have at least eaten a free meal and had a good time.
He won’t know until he tries
Maybe AvedaQueen is not a prostitute, and Tim is just joking around. Or maybe she is, and is using a free online dating site to lure new customers. Whatever the case may be, Tim is still extremely curious and wants to at least take her out and see for himself. Tim’s income exaggeration pales in comparison to AvedaQueen’s deception. A simple role reversion buttresses the point. In the land of online data, nothing is what it seems. As long as you enter the world with your eyes wide open, you’ll be fine!
Readers, is it OK stretch the truth in the online dating world since it is so prevalent? Who is being more deceptive here, Craig or AvedaQueen? Once again, does it really matter how much a guy makes, and if not, does it matter how much Craig says he makes?
Updated June 23, 2016 and originally published November 2, 2010.